Monday, January 28, 2008

In honor of the State of the Union...

It is illegal to say...

Mardi Gras Themes

Last year every dance team danced to DJ Unk's Walk It Out (walk it out, walk it out).

This year's song of Mardi Gras...Low by Flo Rida. Too bad most of those wannabe moms can't get...low.

In other hip hop news, I'm not surprised/totally appalled that when Soulja Boy's Crank That comes on and all the 8 year olds in the neighborhood bust into the dance. Yeah...eight year olds dancing to a song about cumming, in a variety of forms. Of course, the first 15 seconds of the video feature the same thing. What can one do?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

want to touch the hiney

Someone has a crush on ALTR... You're a secretary in my office

On an aside...check out the vagina couch

gates v. jobs

Monday, January 21, 2008

wtf beer?!

So I put my Ayinger Celebrator in the freezer for 30 minutes because I really was craving one when I got home from work but didn't want to wait for the fridge. I poured it beautifully and then all of a sudden part of it was frozen. WTF?!

And so begins the quick death of my liver.

actual text message I had to send on Sunday:

Sorry I threw up out your car window. I guess trying to drink an entire bottle of vodka on an empty stomach is not a good idea. Do I owe you a car wash?

Needless to say, we had fun at Krewe du Vieux and somehow I ended up in the bushes in front of my house.

Our wine rack has now become a vodka rack and my roommate just ordered pounds of glitter on the internet. To be delivered to ALTR at work, of course.

I love Mardi Gras.

Friday, January 18, 2008

stuff and stuff

The best parts of last night. Or, atleast the parts I can remember, haha.

Jeff Crouere:

The democratic race has come down to a black man and a white woman. That's the same decision Michael Jackson has to make everyday.


And here is an actual conversation that took place....
ALTL: Oooh, you smell nice.
Vince Vance: Ask me what I'm wearing.
ALTL: Uh, what are you wearing?
VV: A hard on! For you!
ALTL: *shock*


Thursday, January 17, 2008

oh baby

Just heard on WWL that the 97 million dollar winning Powerball ticket was sold in good ol' Metairie. Oh boy.

The question they asked: Would you go to work this morning?

I probably would.

Monday, January 14, 2008

dogs, booze, haircuts

Not only can you bring your dog to the Bridge Lounge, but Mondays during happy hour you can get your haircut!

I wonder if the service is provided for the dogs as well...?

Friday, January 11, 2008

a woman after my own heart...

The 27-year-old Poulsbo woman told police officers she promised sexual favors to a man if he bought her alcohol early Wednesday morning.

But after getting two bottles of inexpensive fortified wine, she used one to hit him in the forehead.

Read the whole thing here.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

It's just too easy.

Yet again, the Times-Picayune has made my job easier. This time around, they've provided me with an easy link to some photos submitted by local LSU fans. Normally, it would be ALTL's job to satirize anyone's love for LSU, but I'm going to beat her to the punch because I'm in a bitchy mood tonight. Here's a summary:

Animal Abuse


Child Abuse


Animal Porn


Probably costs the same amount it costs to bribe a city official. (It's an antique)


Future minor in possession.

ALTR's quiz

Like ALTL, I took the quiz too. Here's what it says about my support - this is helpful since I'm pretty much undecided (except for the Republican part). But I'm pretty sure I'm going to avoid the Huckabee route. So - McCain it is! Then Mitt Romney (my future father-in-law). Then Ron Paul (who I love a lot).

79% Mike Huckabee
78% John McCain
76% Mitt Romney
72% Ron Paul
72% Fred Thompson
71% Tom Tancredo
58% Rudy Giuliani
42% Bill Richardson
32% Hillary Clinton
31% Barack Obama
30% John Edwards
28% Mike Gravel
26% Chris Dodd
25% Joe Biden
21% Dennis Kucinich

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

One Democrat's guilt...



A true conversation between ALTL and I on gmail chat (at work, of course!)

ALTL: you know, i feel like such a...i dunno
i have a coach purse
in my coach purse in my coach wallet, my kate spade planner, and my ralph lauren sunglasses
ALTR: bad democrat, bad!
ALTL: : hahahahaha
i've turned into a consumer!
ALTR: I'm always taking coach purse donations
ALTL: i also wear mikimoto pearls!

here's a shocker

Here's what a quiz says about ALTL's presidential support:

87% Hillary Clinton
85% John Edwards
83% Chris Dodd
83% Barack Obama
79% Joe Biden
77% Dennis Kucinich
76% Mike Gravel
75% Bill Richardson
48% Rudy Giuliani
36% John McCain
29% Mike Huckabee
26% Mitt Romney
26% Tom Tancredo
18% Fred Thompson
11% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

[h/t Letters in Bottles]

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

hmm

How do you tell a booty call that you're the one who does the calling, not him?

It's 12:45 on a school night, bitch ass. Besides, you're an LSU fan, you're the last thing I want right now.

Monday, January 7, 2008

sugar daddy

Wanting to post this earlier, but busy at work.

An article in USA Today talks about how so many lawsuits have been filed against the government in Katrina-related claims. This is my fav:

One claim alone seeks $3 quadrillion in damages, almost all of it for personal injury. That's a 3 followed by 15 zeros — about 250 times the nation's gross domestic product. A resident of a section of New Orleans that includes the hard-hit Lower 9th Ward filed another claim for $6 trillion, double the annual federal budget.



What attorney in his or her right mind would ever file that?

UPDATE: The Times-Pic has more. Joe Bruno sounds brilliant as always. Maybe he filed that suit, seeing as it is too big for state court where he is barred.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Beauty Queens & Bling: just your average Sunday...

* Damns from the North Shore: Kevin Davis, one of the most popular Republicans in the state, won't run for Bobby's seat. [NOLA.com]

* Where to Geaux to Get Your Purple & Gold On? If you're looking for a way to show your Tiger pride tomorrow at work or school without having to sport a t-shirt or polo, Frock Candy's Magazine store-front window shows impressive manequins displaying their finest purple and gold attire. And since it's just Frock Candy, it will leave you with enough cash in your wallet to buy all the beer and snacks you'll need for your tailgate tomorrow. Also be sure to peep their sister-shoe store Shoe Nami next door if you need some purple or gold shoes.

* From the Dept. of He Had It Coming: Kumari Fulbright, a University of Arizona law student and law clerk for a US District Court Judge (and also a former beauty pageant queen), was indicted on charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon. The victim? Her ex-boyfriend. [KTAR, AZ]

Some people are saying her law career is over before it began. Okay, so she probably won't be able to become a federal prosecutor, but ALTR suspects she'll make one hell of a divorce attorney one day.

* Soon to be seen on "K-ville": Wait, is that show even on anymore? Anyhow, whether on your weekly Monday night "K-ville" party (don't lie, I know you watch it!) or if you're trolling through Central City, I guarantee that all you New Orleanians will see this bad boy sooner than later:

Thanks to DesignCrack for pointing out this age-appropriate bauble perfect for any young thug.

Something to make your Sunday brighter

With all the negativity around here, The Chicory provides us with something we can truly giggle at:



Are they engaged or not?

Saturday, January 5, 2008

great idea for the colored folks in town

I can't wait for this BCS bullshit to be over. Between the overwhelming Tiger pride seeping through even the pores of the masses in town to the constant Buckeye talk streaming from my boss's mouth...I am so over it.

Whilst riding around this afternoon, drinking away the day after a late night of antics we decided...we need a paintball gun.

Some neutral colors. Like green. Or blue. Or black (although that may be too much like tiger striped). Any person sporting the purple and gold combo or the red and silver/gray combo - BAM. Fucker. Let's throw some green in there.

It was so bad that at last night's Abita Pub Crawl we could not finish the crawl. We found the company of some Irish men in town for a convention/Willie Nelson concert (and ignorant to this LSU/OSU nonsense). I can't believe my pub crawl t-shirt was purple and gold. I think there will be a ritualistic burning of the t-shirt at the beginning of college football next year.