The Head Pelican

face palm

2011-10-05T11:50:00.004-05:00

Who the hell told Justin Bieber he should make a perfume? Sephora, I am so disappointed in you...

SOMEDAY by JUSTIN BIEBER is more than just a perfume: it's a fragrance full of the energy, passion, and confidence that pushes him to the top of the charts. It is a personal gift straight from his heart, a scent that drives him wild and makes the girls who wear it totally irresistible. So go beyond the music and journey deep into a world of possibilities—into the world of Justin Bieber.

More at sephora.com

Reggie who?

2011-10-04T14:28:00.002-05:00

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this...

Bush may be gone, but he is definitely not forgotten thanks to Pizza Hut. It seemed like every other commercial during Sunday's FOX's telecast was Bush promoting a pizza franchise that is no longer in southeast Louisiana.

I was like, wtf is Bush doing on a Pizza Hu---ohhhh, yeah. He's in Miami now.

How could I forget?

From dailycomet.com.

Hop on Pop?

2011-06-16T14:45:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry Gambit, but so many things scream GAY about this picture that's a part of your Father's Day gift buying guide:

Not that I'm upset by this or anything, but even the caption...all I could do was giggle when I opened my e-mail.

In true New Orleans fashion...

2011-05-16T14:05:00.002-05:00

You know I love to drink. In a house, with a mouse, yes I will have a beer Sam I Am.

However, for the friends of mine who are too concerned about the price for the New Orleans Wine & Food Experience Grand Tasting, I think I can convince them to drink and drive at Audi for a free pair of tickets!!

Join us for a Test Drive at New Orleans Audi and Receive Tickets to the New Orleans Wine & Food Experience!

WHO:
Commander's Palace Executive Chef Tory McPhail will prepare tastings, while “The Food Show with Tom Fitzmorris” broadcasts live from the New Orleans Audi showroom.

WHAT:
Anyone who comes to the New Orleans Audi showroom and test drives an Audi will receive a pair of tickets to a NOWFE Grand Tasting.*

WHEN:
Thursday, May 19
3:00 – 6:00 PM

WHERE:
New Orleans Audi
3400 N. Causeway Blvd.
Metairie, LA 70002

For more information about New Orleans Audi or Test Drive for Tickets, contact Van Bohn at 504.838.8000 or vbohn@bohnbros.com.

This is a legit e-mail I just received. Stay classy!

Not In My SDT

2010-11-11T16:17:00.008-06:00

A few days ago, a friend came by my house for a visit. When I answered the door, she had a horrified look on her face and said...

"ALTR, some guy just put a bag of dog shit in your trashcan!"

No, it wasn't the Uptown Billy Madison playing a prank on me. It was apparently some guy, who was walking his dog and carrying poop bags, that had placed his dog's bag of poop in my trashcan, which sits in a nook in the hedges on the side of my building. My response to my friend was apathetic: "Meh...it really doesn't bother me. I'd rather have shit bags in my trash can than have dog shit on the grass, where I'll definitely step on it when I'm getting into my car."

My response to my concerned friend was what I have often thought when I've observed (and smelled) bags of dog shit in the SDT can whenever I throw in a garbage bag or haul the can out to the curb on trash days. But, honestly, there are some days where I'm especially frustrated or angry at the world, and it really does piss me off that people can't carry those shit bags home to their own garbage cans. It's not my fault that they chose to walk their dog far away from their own house. Moreover, I pay for my trash collection - stop adding more shit (literally!) to the can that is already overflowing with my discarded pizza boxes and wine bottles (and wine boxes).

For a non-dog owner with street parking in a dog-infested city like New Orleans, is it better to have shit in a bag at the bottom of your trashcan than shit stuck to your favorite high heels when you're running late to class or work?

Probably so.

But that doesn't mean that it's not super-annoying to witness my neighbor drop Fideaux's latest deuce in my trashcan when I know perfectly well that he has an equal-sized SDT can only 2 houses down the street. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

New Orleans City Code Sec. 18-13 provides for a fine of at least $100 and 21 hours of trash cleanup for owners of animals who "soil" public or private property. And, like the City Code drafters, I think we all agree that shit on the ground is totally unacceptable. Around Uptown, I've noticed several houses with milk cartons containing grocery bags nailed to trees, encouraging dog walkers to help themselves to a bag should one be needed. These creations are no doubt the brainchild of some homeowners who just want that shit off the ground. But what do these milk carton-bag holder creators think about shit bags in their SDT cans? Does having a plethora of bags also imply "feel free to use my SDT can to dispose of your shit bag"?

Perhaps I could put a sign under the lid of my SDT can that says "I don't put shit in your can, don't put shit in mine." But I feel pretty certain that such a sign would actually encourage the offenders to let their dogs take a massive dump right by my door.

There are various message board threads on this topic that I found doing a Google search, but I wonder what the New Orleans take on the issue might me. If anyone else has some thoughts on this - what's proper and what's not, I'd love to hear some input. Perhaps our blog has a future as the Emily Post-style resource for dog poop etiquette in New Orleans.

"The BP executives were injured but survived...Nine rig crew on the rig floor and two engineers died."

2010-05-08T12:18:00.002-05:00

The BP executives were injured but survived, according to one account. Nine rig crew on the rig floor and two engineers died. - Favorite quote from this interesting article.

Bubble of methane triggered rig blast.

So long, DIxie

2010-04-23T23:10:00.006-05:00

Earlier this week, I was saddened to hear that the Kappa Alpha Order (KA) had officially banned Old South events. While KA nationals never actually prescribed or recommended the practice to the fraternity's chapters, it has become a popular tradition in campuses all across the country, including several of the universities in Louisiana.

It just goes to show how - as with so many traditions - the misbehavior of some can ruin something for everyone. During my days at Tulane, Old South was one of the few civilized and well-executed fraternity events on campus. I am sure the fraternity will find other ways to celebrate it's heritage and honor its spiritual leader, General Robert E. Lee. But I will always be a sucker for a man in a gray uniform.

Louisiana hates drugs

2010-04-19T16:41:00.003-05:00

Via The Dead Pelican - Louisiana hates the reefer.

In a related story, ALTL will be moving out of the state.

Going Rogue, eh?

2009-11-19T16:57:00.004-06:00

Yes, Urban Dictionary has some recently added definitions for this term, but before Sarah Palin decided to "go rogue", there was this defintion: A male that allows a transexual man fuck him hard in the ass, yet still claims to be straight.

Thanks, someecards!!

Blame it on the swine flu

2009-08-23T20:42:00.001-05:00

Several Tulane football players have come down with swine flu like symptoms.

Let the jokes ensue.

Distractions

2009-08-22T21:36:00.005-05:00

Thanks, ALTL! I feel immediately energized just watching that video. Who knew Mandy Moore looked so good in a Laura Bush suit? She looks great!

I have rough 3 years ahead of me, but hopefully the pursuit of procrastination will give me more opportunities to blog!

And now I don't have that annoying job thing to get in the way of my Head Pelican time. Also - no more men for the next 3 years - no more distractions! I am now married to law school and the Head Pelican.

Give your vagina wings!

2009-08-21T13:45:00.003-05:00

I bought ALTR a case of this to celebrate her starting law school.

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

Buy me a drink!

2009-08-13T22:33:00.003-05:00

Depending on what circles you run in, you may or may not have heard about the free T Pain show on Tuesday night at the House of Blues.

After waiting in line for, oh, 1.5 hours, we finally made it into the gates of House of Blues, only to be a couple people late to get into the capacity filled HoB. While the security hassled the skanky and obnoxious feather-earringed girl and her crew, my roommate and I watched the show on the tv from the comfort of the bar. Not wanting to lose our prime seating, my roommate filled not one, but two cups with urine, the last one sprinkling slightly on my leg. In my tequila-drunk disbelief I start smacking his arm and yelling at him for pissing on me when the girl next to me realized that she got hit too - despite his protests that there must be a leak in the ceiling! At that moment, three people emerged from the over heated crowd, the new security guy looked right at me, and I grabbed Peaches from the clutches of the hysteric girl and we made it into the show.

All in all an eclectic crowd and actually a pretty good show. But get this - after the last song was played, the crowd pretty much RAN out of the HoB. No encore. I encouraged Peaches to get a set list, and when I turned around from bumming a cigarette off of a stranger, I see him with this plastered on his chest:

HE DIDN'T PLAY ON A MOTHERFUCKIN' BOAT! Thanks shitty New Orleans crowd!!

Sick.

2009-08-03T10:03:00.002-05:00

I tell my mother everything.

So when I was rehashing the events of past few weeks with a certain gentleman caller, I explained that we didn't go "all the way" because of some....errr, physical difficulties he had below the belt that I attributed to drinking.

Then she suggested that perhaps the problem wasn't excessive drinking, but that he was on high blood pressure medicine. "That's a pretty common side effect of those kinds of drugs," she said.

Later I thought about what she said. And then I remembered, my father has high blood pressure. Controlled well by medication.

Gross.

Where am I?

2009-06-23T14:24:00.003-05:00

While zoning out on the drive to work this morning, I suddenly became a little lost at the corner of Melpomene and St. Charles until I realized that St. Charles Tavern had simply received a face lift of sorts:

Don't worry, the fabulous print on the downtown side describing the awesomeness of the tavern is still in tact and faded as ever!

Fuck that Jaegermesiter bullshit

2009-04-08T13:59:00.002-05:00

The beer industry contributes $2.58 billion a year to the Louisiana economy, according to a study commissioned by national industry groups.

Just another reason that beer makes me fired up!!!

Well, and that the NOLA Brewery is right in my backyard. What a fun little shin dig last Thursday!!

Note to self: delete all Match.com emails from my Blackberry in the future

2009-03-31T22:45:00.005-05:00

Today a group of my coworkers suckered me in to a last-minute project which required a group of us to go to another downtown office building for about 15 minutes or so. Another coworker, Mike, was selected dropped us off. Mike somehow acts like he's superior to me socially, intellectually, and professionally (none of which are the case - case in point: he was chosen to drive; they begged me to go to this meeting).

When dropping us off we said "Okay Mike, just drive around to avoid the meter maids for a few minutes, and we'll call you when we're done."

Mike: "Dangit, I forgot my cell phone. Here ALTR, just let me borrow your phone and call your number from someone else's phone when you all get out."

I agreed and handed over my phone.

Flash forward 10 minutes, I'm in the middle of a serious moment of the meeting with our customer , and all of a sudden it hit me......OH HOLY CRAP!!! A few weeks ago, I signed up for the trial (FREE) portion of Match.com. And they bombard me with emails every day. And I get my emails....ON MY PHONE! And he was just dying to borrow MY phone - not the phones of any of the other 4 people in the car with us. That piece of sh*t!

I'm sure he went through my messages and emails. I probably would have if I'd been in his situation. In addition to emails from Match.com, Subject Line "He Winked At You!", Mike also probably enjoyed a series of desperate-girl booty call text messages from the blackout zone, a back-and-forth banter with a gay friend about drag queen wigs and poppers, and text messages to ALTL asking her to bring me a platter of cocktail sandwiches and a daiquiri at The Fly.

I guess if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn't have to worry about this. And, there's always a chance that he didn't go through my emails and won't spread their contents around the office. Yeah right!

Oh well, live and learn.

rain, rain, go away

2009-03-31T12:53:00.004-05:00

Tonight's Tulane/LSU game has been "rained out."

Deciding it's better to be safe than sorry, Tulane officials postponed tonight's baseball game against LSU because of the threat of severe thunderstorms around game time. - nola.com

Lame. We blame LSU.

Just another morning commute

2009-03-31T10:11:00.006-05:00

This morning while approaching the light at St. Charles at the bridge, I found myself distacted by what looked like an economy size spill of powdered scrambled eggs with a slight off-putting color to them. I always tell myself I will blog, so I try to snap a picture on my cell phone.

As I continue my forward movement, I realize something is missing.

Someone wiped out the light at Calliope and St. Charles. Again. The last time was the weekend of March 6, not even a month ago. I first noticed this on Saturday the 7th and by Tuesday the 10th the light was back in business. I was amazed because this was the fastest light replacement I have ever seen in the city of New Orleans. However, that intersection does have the potential to be extremely dangerous, you know, with the streetcar and all.

What will the turn around be this time? And who is the culprit twice in one month?!

BOOOOOO, REF!

2009-03-26T18:17:00.005-05:00

I love going to Hornets games. I hate having "things" to keep track of, such as a purse, jacket, etc. Therefore, my phone, ID, and cash all go in my pocket. This allows for few concerns such as purse snatching/forgetting and easier beer holding and impromptu clapping against the leg.

Anyhow, I always have this fear that I'm going to drop my money or phone when I go to the bathroom and drop trou. Last night during my third quarter bathroom trip, the inevitable happened - my program and cell phone fell out of my pocket.

Sitting there trying to do my business, I spy my phone in the stall to the left of me. Luckily, it was unoccupied. I slid my foot under the divider, stomped on my phone, and dragged it back into my stall. Finishing my business, I stood up, zipped up my shorts, flushed the toilet, and bent over to pick up my phone. As I did this I received a nice spray from the toilet right in my face.

Post-MG2K9

2009-03-01T10:13:00.004-06:00

I don't do New Years resolutions. There's too much king cake to eat, champagne to drink, and work to ignore between January 1 and Fat Tuesday. So, instead, I do post-Mardi Gras resolutions. And, obviously, mine is to blog more.

I've neglected keeping up to date with the goings-on in the NOLA blogosphere. But I'm still here.

So, here's my Mardi Gras de-briefing - I had one of the greatest carnival seasons I've had in a long time! ALTL had friends in town - we went to lots of parades, donned multiple costumes, and had a good time at the 8th Annual Not-So-Super Super Hero Party. I also had some friends in town - sharing my city with visitors always getting me fired up about Mardi Gras all over again!

So, to all of our friends out there in the NOLA blogosphere and beyond, we are back and we hope you're still reading.

Cynthia hyphens everywhere

2009-03-01T09:04:00.003-06:00

Today I saw a yard sign for Harry Lee's granddaughter, Cynthia Lee-Sheng, who's running for a JP Council seat.

Not to be confused with Cynthia Hedge-Morrell or Cynthia Willard-Lewis of New Orleans City Council fame. It's so hard to keep all these Cynthias with hyphenated last names straight!

I guess that's what happens when you want everyone to know both whose daughter you are and who you're married to!

Scary - model dies from a UTI

2009-01-26T22:04:00.002-06:00

This article is terrifying.

tonight's Politics with a Punch

2009-01-22T11:37:00.004-06:00

This evening's panel looks pretty interesting:

Austin Badon, State Representative, Candidate for Mayor

Jonathan Bell, Movie Actor and Veteran Comedian

Aaron Broussard, Jefferson Parish President

Alden Hagardorn, President, St. Henry’s Parish Council

Misty Jackson, Renowned Comedian and TV Star

Blaine Kern, Mr. Mardi Gras, New Orleans Ambassador

Pierre Thomas, New Orleans Saints Star Running Back

On our star studded show, we’ll cover everything from the inauguration of President Obama to the latest trials and tribulations of Dollar Bill Jefferson to Holy Cao, we have a new Congressman to Sen. David Vitter supporting the religious right and challenging Hillary Clinton, while hoping the voters forget about the D.C. Madam!

See you there!

ALTL, get out your credit card...

2009-01-21T19:15:00.009-06:00

The subject matter of this post is the type that my co-blogger ALTL usually handles, but here I go...

Looking for a perfect gift for the Obama lover? Like, something besides a t-shirt with "Change" written on it? Why not an Obama....dildo?!

Yep, here it is:

Also comes in GOLD! But I'd rather have the blue - I've always been an expert at blue-balling.

I'm it.

2009-01-21T10:49:00.000-06:00

After being on hiatus, I noticed that Latin Teacher at FEMA, Katrina, and other bad words tagged me in this meme that has been floating around the internet. So, uh, here it is.

Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself.
Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

About me...

I cannot give blood.
I took a 24 hour bus ride to participate in the March for Women's Lives in April 2004, followed by a 24 hour bus ride back (I think a total of 10 hours were spent in DC).
I spent one summer as a Capitol Hill intern.
Muffalettas smell fantastic to me, but I cannot stand to eat them - I don't like olives.
Last St. Patrick's Day we put the keg in the pool because we thought it was cold enough.
I once bought a case of Absolut New Orleans for $21.99 at Dorignac's.

So there.

Who do I tag? Uhhh...how about my ho A Little to the Right, Daily Hops, Brad V at Letters in Bottles, heh, New Orleans Murder Blog, Drunk Athlete, and, uh...that's enough. I don't know enough "people" in the blogosphere.

Good luck, President Obama

2009-01-20T11:47:00.002-06:00

This conservative's thoughts on this historic inauguration day:

Mr. President, you are not what was desired, but you are no less dear to me. And your daughters are adorable.

It's not that I'm apathetic...

2009-01-20T10:11:00.002-06:00

...I just can't get excited about today's inauguration. The election of Senator Barack Obama to the presidency of the United States is definitely a ground-breaking one. I understand the feelings of hope people are filled with by his promises of change. I do.

The hype is just not for me. It hasn't been from day one.

A former roommate of mine from when I lived in DC had a facebook status that compared inauguration to "Mardi Gras for dorks." While I disagreed, I did conceed that DC for inauguration would be a bigger cluster fuck. That's for damn sure.

Best of luck to you, President Obama. Make us proud.

As an aside, my co-worker is watching live on her computer and giving me commentary...

CW: wow, you're not even allowed to ride your bike within 2 miles of the national mall.
ALTL: bikes take up too much space!
CW: its a security issue.
ALTL: everything is a security issue
CW: well, I guess the police get to ride their bikes because I just saw one.
ALTL: clearly they're not a security risk - they are there to keep the peace
CW: They just showed the New Orleans mayor in the crowd of ppl.
ALTL: now that is a security risk
CW: ha ha
but pretty impressive that they chose to show him. everyone else has been presidential ppl.
CW: shows you how hard it was to get in to this shindig. He was standing out in the crowd of ppl.
CW: oh, keep it together Hillary. She's looking a little emotional.

Here we go.

EDIT: Chris Matthews is "not crotchety about change." Wtf.

I'm not the only one...

2009-01-17T06:21:00.003-06:00

On Amazon....

Like Google, when you type in something you're looking for, Amazon automatically lists other searches people have previously done using the same words. Which makes me feel slightly less weird for ordering the following items after having come home at 5:30 AM this morning in time for some drunken online purchases:

- "sexy Jester costume"

- "Amy Winehouse wig"

Although I may regret these purchases when I look at my bank balance after sleeping off this inevitable hangover, at least I'll be ready for Mardi Gras with 2 great new costume options. And I'll still have some pride - because, thanks to Amazon's search suggestions, I know that there was someone else out there weird enough/drunk enough to search for the exact same things as me.

shenanigans

2008-11-29T18:35:00.003-06:00

State Rep Michael Jackson is probably best known these days for running as an independent in the 6th Congressional District and throwing off the voter distribution. It has long been suspected that shenanigans have been afoot within that race. Recently, the Daily Kingfish reports on a meeting between Jackson and his opponent Bill Cassidy. Vedy, vedy interesting.

As if Jackson wasn't sleazy enough, I had written previously about his affiliation both professionally and personally with Louisiana Citizens. At the time, the Jackson Bell law firm had lost many of the cases in which they represented Citizens to a firm in Lafeyette. Within the last month or two, many more cases were recently ganked from the Jackson Bell firm and handed to a local firm here in New Orleans. Word on the street has it that Jackson's partner Murphy Bell pitched a fit and played the race card, resulting in the cases being returned to the Jackson Bell firm.

To this day the Jackson Bell firm continues to do mid-grade work on these cases and remain unresponsive to other interested parties. It's sort of a mystery what happens over there (they don't even have a website, gasp!). There is no reason that they should still be hanging on to so many of these cases when other firms are clearing them left and right. Well, except for billing purposes. Oh. Wait.

Courtesy of DownWithTyranny!

Remembrance

2008-11-22T11:43:00.004-06:00

Last Saturday a man was shot in the 2800 block of Chippewa. It was about 8:20 PM. 12 shots were fired off. As the man lay there dead, his pit bull wouldn't leave his side.

Tonight his friends have pulled together to have a vigil at the corner of Sixth and Chippewa. From NOLADIY.ORG:

Brian Turd Vigil
Saturday, November 22. Pete's at 6th Street & Chippewa. 7:30PM. FREE.
There is going to be a candlelight vigil for Brian this Saturday starting at 7:30 pm on the corner of 6th and Chippewa. This is the corner where he got shot. Bring lots of candles and anything else you can think of -- signs, flowers, etc. We are trying to get the message across to whatever (i can't even think of a word bad enough to put here) killed him that people do care about Brian, and we're going to make a big deal out of it. He's not some random guy nobody gives a shit about. We will demand attention for his death from the neighborhood, from the police, and from the media. Who did this to him probably lives RIGHT THERE!. We want them to see us and be nervous and we want their friends to see us and be nervous and turn these murderers in to the police so they can FRY!

I am really sorry for the loss of your friend, honestly. Losing a loved one hurts. However, this doesn't sound like a vigil to me. Rather than engaging in a peaceful remembrance, this group of people wants to come into this neighborhood and try to make people nervous. This ignorance and arrogance enrages me. You think a murder in our neighborhood doesn't impact ALL people that live there? The neighborhood isn't just thugs. There are families, retirees, lawyers, fast food workers, elderly, public servants, and many more people, from all walks of life and broad racial make up. Why do you want to come into a neighborhood that you know nothing about and make everyone nervous? Knowing fully well that your friend was murdered in that area! What are you really accomplishing here by further alienating the people that live in the neighborhood and have stuck it out throughout thick and thin?

Words on various myspaces utter "hugs not thugs" and murmurs of teaching us to take our neighborhood back.

I respect your wanting to honor your friend and seek justice. PLEASE respect the people that live here, though. The words you are using are abrasive and the neighbors are already dreading your presence. Further, please get your facts straight. Your friend was not shot on the corner of Sixth and Chippewa. There is a business on the corner of Sixth and Chippewa that has nothing to do with the events that went down. Rather, the murder took place three houses down towards Washington on Chippewa.

More on this...
Myspace: Brian Turd
WGNO: Friend's Mourn Dog Walker's Death
Humid City: Brian Turd - Vigil and Benefit
Myspace: les turdz - Brian Turd. RIP
Humid City: Getting to the end game
Photobucket: Brian Turd Vigil and Benefit Poster

Tulane, dazzling you with gloss and misdirection!

2008-11-13T08:38:00.003-06:00

The hard working folks over at newcomblives.com continue to dismiss the propoganda by big, bad Tulane. This is just an excerpt.

By now you have undoubtedly received Tulane University’s very expensive four-color glossy “brochure” outlining its position on the lawsuit to restore Newcomb College.

While The Future of Newcomb College, Inc. cannot afford to produce a similar brochure – nor would we find it ethical to spend our limited resources (for which we owe you our thanks) on a slick propaganda publication such as that – our board believes Newcomb College alumnae and supporters need to understand that Tulane’s clever “wordsmithing” has distorted the truth about Mrs. Newcomb’s intent, the state of Newcomb College prior to the university’s decision to dissolve it, and the status of the new lawsuit to restore Newcomb College. (The new action, Montgomery v. Tulane, has been filed by Mrs. Susan Henderson Montgomery, a great, great grand niece of Mrs. Newcomb, who fits the Louisiana Supreme Court’s definition of “successor” and who is dedicated to ensuring that Tulane honors the intent of Newcomb’s founding benefactor.)

Below are the facts:

Tulane’s Version of the Truth: Mrs. Newcomb did not impose any conditions upon Tulane as to how it should further the higher education of women.

The Truth: Mrs. Newcomb’s bequest was subject to both a condition and a charge, or an expectation of performance. When she made her bequest, Mrs. Newcomb made it clear that her intent was for Tulane to use her donations “in establishing the H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial College [not Institute] … for the higher education of … girls and young women” and “for the present and future development” of Newcomb College.

What Tulane Says: The Newcomb endowment was created by Tulane.

The Truth: Tulane did not donate the Newcomb endowment. Instead, in 1923, the university took money that Mrs. Newcomb had restricted in her will and used it as the basis for the H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial Fund, designated as funds “functioning as endowment.” Between 1974 and 1979, Tulane University continued to take and use the funds intended to maintain and support Newcomb College because the university had “financial needs.” By 1996, Tulane returned more than $15 million in Newcomb-designated money that it had taken in the 1970s. (See “Endowing Newcomb Forever” on on the upper right corner of this page.) This was money repaid, not money donated as endowment.

What Tulane Says: Today, the Newcomb endowment funds provide the programs of the H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial College Institute.

The Truth: That is true and it is beside the point. The H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial College Institute is not a college. It is an umbrella organization with no academic standing at the university, no dean, no degrees, no advisors, no campus, no student body, and no alumnae association, and the endowment funds were intended for the support of Newcomb COLLEGE and not the Newcomb Institute. Tulane is overstepping its authority in using the funds for this purpose.

What Tulane Says: Degrees have always been awarded by Tulane University.

The Truth: This is yet another example of the deceptive use of semantics by Tulane. Newcomb College graduates received a degree that was granted by Tulane University for fulfilling the requirements of the H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial College or on the recommendation of the Newcomb College faculty. The diplomas were signed by the dean of Newcomb College. The H. Sophie Newcomb Memorial Institute has no degree requirements, nor faculty, nor a dean, because it exists in name only.

It's always been about the money. Please, President-Elect Obama, give Scott Cowen the Secretary of Education gig so he will get the hell out of town.

"She's thinks my chief-of-staff's sexy..."

2008-11-09T21:17:00.006-06:00

I haven't heard any other local lady bloggers say it, so I'm going to say it: I think Rahm Emanuel is HOT! Similarly, I thought John Lyman was sexy back in the day. Peep this Time article for some interesting facts about him. My favorite:

He studied ballet in high school and was offered a scholarship to the Joffrey Ballet, but went to Sarah Lawrence College instead, where he earned a bachelor's degree. He has a master's degree in speech from Northwestern University.

No wonder he has a reputation for being such a jerk - he studied ballet and went to Sarah Lawrence - he has to prove his manhood somehow! Whatever, that's still hot.

Pirates v. Ninjas 10/31/08

2008-11-09T05:00:00.003-06:00

I so wish I could have been there for this. Alas, I was too busy having a 12 martini lunch and finishing up my bad ass Halloween costume.

More info at nolapenguin

LAWLZ

2008-11-09T04:21:00.002-06:00

I just had to post this. I know the election is over, but this video just reminded me so much of some people.

A prediction for my nearest and dearest

2008-11-06T11:00:00.003-06:00

I love making predictions. Who will win this election? When will he get married? How long will this new receptionist last before they get sacked? How much weight has so-and-so lost? When will Zac Efron come out of the closet?

The pundits are going crazy predicting President-Elect Obama's choices for his cabinet and staff. The biggest cabinet position being discussed is Secretary of the Treasury for obvious reasons.

Education is my favorite political issue because it's, well, so political. It's the issue on which most of my friends would agree I am the most conservative. Preferences aside, I am officially making my own prediction on who Obama will choose for his Secretary of Education. And it's pretty close to home. My choice: Tulane University President Scott Cowen.

Affectionately known as "Scotty C" by Tulane students, Cowen is a good friend of Vice President-Elect Joe Biden. Joe Biden's daughter Ashley attended Tulane around the same time as THP ladies, and Biden has maintained ties with the school and its very popular, business-minded president. Cowen donated his money and name to the founding of the Cowen Institute for Public Education Initiatives at Tulane. Several of my "sources" (aka drinking buddies) that work for the Tulane administration and at the Cowen Institute have suggested for awhile now that, in the event of an Obama-Biden victory, Cowen's appointment as Ed Secretary was probable.

So far, Inside Higher Ed is the only outfit I can find (in a quick Google search) that has suggested Cowen's name is on the short list for this job. Education isn't a very sexy issue for most of the pundits in making their cabinet predictions, but for other Americans, millions of whom send their children to failing public schools every day, it's an extremely important one.

Personally, I believe that Cowen as Education Secretary could do amazing things for public education all over America by sharing the progressive educative ideas employed here in New Orleans with the rest of the country. These next four years could prove to be a very exciting time to be in education.

Post-election thoughts

2008-11-06T08:46:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I was way too hungover from simultaneously celebrating a victory (Landrieu) and drinking away my sorrows (need I state the obvious?) on Tuesday night. As you might have noticed, our attempt at live blogging failed for the same reasons that I was hugging a toilet for the better part of Wednesday.

Congrats to Senator Mary Landrieu - you can buy your dairy in DC and eat it too! It was an extremely close race, but you did it. Here's to 6 more years of fighting for the Pelican State!

New Orleans now has a new DA. In the Cannizzaro-Capitelli showdown, THP endorsed Capitelli. However, New Orleans is lucky that it had in this race a win-win situation: two experienced and qualified candidates. I will not talk about this race again, except to just say this: Leon Cannizzaro doesn't appear to have much faith in all of the new voters that turned out to support Obama, as both of these signs were clearly planted by his people. I'm not saying he wouldn't have won without these low tactics, but they clearly helped.

[h/t to Brad for this one]

On a final and more positive note, I have this to say: although I voted for the McCain-Palin ticket and worry about Obama's policies in the long term, I think that you have to be pretty heartless to not feel moved by the amount of energy and excitement surrounding Obama's election. As for my sad Republican friends out there, I think our comeback in 2010 and especially 2012 will be in the manner of 1994's Contract with America. Until then, I can say that the results of this election make me proud to be an American, and I wish President-Elect Obama and the rest of our country the best for the next four years.

Live blogging from the Election turnout!

2008-11-04T20:15:00.001-06:00

So dorky, I know.

Pre-gaming before the victory parties with a bunch of Obama supporters. Things are looking bleak right now for my man, but I am anxiously awaiting the local results!

I obviously live in the wrong state...

2008-11-04T09:14:00.005-06:00

From babeland.com:

Babeland Rewards Voters with a Silver Bullet or a Maverick

If the Maverick rhetoric in the presidential campaigns is doing anything, we hope it’s motivating everyone to get out and vote. Which is why we’re giving away a real Maverick, absolutely FREE to all voters. All men, not just Joe Six Pack, love the Maverick sleeve ($20 value). He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.

Wait, it gets better. We’ve got one more enticement. A free Silver Bullet ($15 value), because that’s what our country needs right now, a magical solution to difficult problems. Babeland’s most popular compact mini-vibe feels fantastic and is a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!

Bring a voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast a ballot on November 4th and we’ll give you either a free Maverick sleeve or a Silver Bullet. This offer is good at any Babeland location in New York and Seattle November 4-11.

Word on the street has it that other freebies include Starbucks, Chick-Fil-A, and Ben & Jerry's. Where can I get free gas?!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2008-11-04T07:34:00.006-06:00

Why are you reading right now? Go VOTE! It's Election Day!

And remember, Republicans vote Tuesday (today), Democrats vote on Wednesday!

XOXO,
ALTR

mmm, election cake

2008-11-03T17:52:00.002-06:00

Courtesy of the Southern Food and Beverage Museum's newsletter.

Before roads had improved and voting locally was an option, many people had to travel long distances to cast a vote. At that point, the United States was the only democracy and people took a special pride in elections, treating them as a major holiday. As people made their way into town to vote, housewives were preparing "Election Cakes," dense cakes sometimes weighing up to twelve pounds.*

Originally, these cakes were known as "Muster Cakes," prepared when farmers were called into towns for military training. They traveled long distances and, according to Alice Ross (Journal of Antiques and Collectibles, October 2003), "descended on the nearest designated towns for days of training sessions ('mustering') and nights of socializing, carousing, and partaking of what became known as 'Muster Cake.' "

Over time, Muster Cakes were used to celebrate a different event, the election. "Travel time to the polling places had not changed, and the logistics of a week of spirited fun away from home was as attractive as the voting. The dates were scheduled to accommodate passable roads and lulls in farm work, just as Muster Days had been ... Again men made their way to town in droves and stayed for several days, arriving early enough to take in the electioneering, to vote, to drink, and then to hang around for the results. The cake continued to be a special feature of the event, its name was transposed to 'Election Cake.'" (Ross)

The first appearance of Election Cake was in the 1796 cookbook by Amelia Simmons, The First American Cookbook, second edition. The recipe was made for a crowd, calling for 30 quarts of flour and 10 pounds of butter. To view images from The First American Cookbook, visit the Library of Congress website. Scroll down for the 1796 recipe for election cake and for a slightly more modern recipe.

Here is the recipe:

"Thirty quarts flour, 10 pound butter, 14 pound sugar, 12 pound raisins, 3 doz eggs, one pint wine, one quart brandy, 4 ounces cinnamon, 4 ounces fine colander seed, 3 ounces ground allspice; wet the flour with milk to the consistence of bread over night, adding one quart yeast; the next morning work the butter and sugar together for half an hour, which will render the cake much lighter and whiter; when it has rise light work in every other ingredient except the plumbs, which work in when going into the oven."
[American Cookery; Amelia Simmons 1796.]

And a slightly more modern recipe for election cake.

Election Cake (Boston Cooking-School Cook Book, 1911)
1/2 cup butter
8 finely chopped figs
1 cup bread dough
1 1/4 cups flour
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon soda
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sour milk
2/3 cup raisins seeded, cut into pieces
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon clove
1/4 teaspoon mace
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt

Work butter into dough, using the hand. Add egg well
beaten, sugar, milk, fruit dredged with two tablespoons
flour, and flour mixed and sifted with remaining ingredients.
Put into a well-buttered bread pan, cover, and let rise one
and one-fourth hours. Bake one hour in a slow oven.
Cover with Boiled Milk Frosting.

The "right" to empty an automatic weapon into a nine year old

2008-11-02T12:39:00.003-06:00

Trick-or-treater, 12, shot to death, police say

SUMTER, South Carolina (AP) -- An ex-convict who said he thought he was being robbed gunned down a 12-year-old trick-or-treater, spraying nearly 30 rounds with an assault rifle from inside his home after hearing a knock on the door, police said Saturday. ...

Police said at least two of the boys were wearing ghoulish masks when they knocked on the door. The boys' mother and a toddler stayed in the car nearby.

Patrick emptied his AK-47, shooting at least 29 times through his front door, walls and windows after hearing the knock, Police Chief Patty Patterson said.

He told police he had been robbed and shot in the past year.

"He wasn't going to be robbed again, and he wasn't going to be shot again," Patterson said Saturday at a news conference. (more....)

So not only does a man with multiple convictions have an AK-47, but he and his 19-yr-old girlfriend have immediate access to $7,500 cash?

Obviously, this guy is dealing (possibly more than drugs).

So he gets robbed and shot, and his solution is to buy a freaking AK-47 and empty it into the body of the first person to knock on his front door. It could have been anybody- friend, brother, political canvaser, neighborhood watch- but it was a couple of children out trick-or-treating on Halloween.

What was this guy doing? Sitting in a chair facing the door with the gun across his knees, waiting for a threatening approach (like a knock?)

And what was he doing with a freaking AK-47? Oh yeah, they're legal. Thank you, NRA. I sure am glad that Mr. Patrick was able to legally own an automatic weapon. After all, how is a person supposed to defend his home and loved ones if he can't empty 30 high-powered rounds through his front door at the slightest indication that someone may be standing on the porch?

And how is an 8-year old supposed to shoot himself in the head with an Uzi if he and the rest of the gun club don't have the right to carry them around and shoot things for fun?

Now, I'm all for hunting, and I do enjoy firing off a couple hundred rounds at the shotting range. But automatic weapons? Really? Why is it that we won't rid this country of automatic weapons?

I don't know whether Patrick purchased his AK-47 legally or illegally, especially considering his criminal record, but reducing the pool of legal automatic weapons is the first major step toward eliminating the criminal possession of such weapons.

Whose trash is it anyway?

2008-10-30T08:45:00.003-05:00

Pretty Boy vs. Pretty Boy

I am so so SO excited for tonight's much-anticipated Lee Zurik interview with Sidney Torres, IV on WWL. I have been waiting all week for this one. So many gay undertones and sparks to be seen. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tragedy in BR

2008-10-29T12:02:00.001-05:00

Tragedy in Baton Rouge. What a waste.

via The Dead Pelican

oh boy oh boy

2008-10-27T11:10:00.002-05:00

I haven't been this excited for a Politics with a Punch panel in quite some time. But, if thise holds, I think it's going to be awesome. Mainly because I'm a drama queen. Via e-mail, here's the line-up:

Jay Batt, Former Councilman, Chair-Louisiana McCain Campaign

Virginia Boulet, Chairman of Obama Campaign, Louisiana

Manny Chevrolet Bruno, Comic-Troubled Man for Troubled Times

Joe Johnson, Former Saints Star, Member of Saints Hall of Fame

Norman Robinson, News Anchor, WDSU-TV, Channel 6

Chris Rose, Times Picayune Columnist, Author and Commentator

John Slade, Political Cartoonist, Radio Talk Show Host, Comedian

The usual election dramatics aside, I just want to see Chris Rose after his domestic disturbance arrest. Maybe he and Derrick Sheperd could start a drinking group of some sort where they go terrorize ex-girlfriends together??

Check out the comments on the Rose article. The outpouring of support is amazing and disgusting to me.

What are you doing under that robe?

2008-10-26T22:31:00.012-05:00

Lately it seems that whenever I see "As Seen on TV" commercials, I half expect them to turn out to be SNL skits. The crap they sell on TV is getting more and more absurd. And it's not a joke. Meet the Snuggie!

Sorry if your grandmother gave you/is giving you one of these for Christmas. I'm sure they're nice and warm. But common sense begs the question of why a traditional robe wasn't good enough for you! Also, you look like you're a part of some strange robe-wearing religious cult or some sort of medieval monk.

I'll just stick to my flannel robe and/or blanket and Tulane hoodie for those rare chilly nights.

Sign stealing - the sequel

2008-10-24T09:11:00.004-05:00

Perhaps the Capitelli campaign could copy the tactics of this Lake Charles homeowner regarding campaign sign theft:

I love it!

Via The Dead Pelican

Outrage on the dairy aisle

2008-10-23T11:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, I am the conservative half of this blog. But I make no secret of the fact that I support Mary Landrieu. In fact, as ALTL can attest to, I want to be her when I grow up. Therefore, this article from Politico makes me angry.

It shows these photos of Mary shopping for groceries in DC, where I am pretty sure she works.

I am just happy to know that she likes the same brand of yogurt as me!

Just in case you were wondering...

2008-10-23T08:36:00.005-05:00

...what Diaper Dave looks like from the angle oh-so-many hookers viewed him from: the Shreveport Times has captured the image in all its glory.

But sadly, he's clothed in this picture.

Via The Dead Pelican

"I support Obama because he's pro-life."

2008-10-13T12:47:00.002-05:00

From the Howard Stern Show - interviews with Obama supporters in Harlem. Pretty scary.

Congrats to Dangerblond!

2008-10-10T10:23:00.003-05:00

Congrats to Dangerblond for a kickass job on the bar exam!

Just imagine this says "Congratulations on passing" instead of "I hope you pass".

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a demon from hell?

2008-10-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

No changes occur. Or some might argue Ed Hochuli. At his busy practice in Arizona where he is a named partner, Hochuli specializes in Legal Malpractice and Professional Liability, Products Liability, and Personal Injury defense, to name a few. Does anyone see the humor in that besides myself?

After blowing a call in the Broncos/Chargers match up, Hochuli continued the adventure in the Saints/Vikings match up the other night. And the hate mail continues to flow. Instead of getting his eyes checked or reviewing the rule books (to fix his malpractice, you know), he is taking time to respond to all of the e-mails.

You are certainly free to have your opinions, but if you were a knowledgeable fan, you would understand that there are 7 officials out there, and you would not attribute all errors to the Referee. The face mask, for example, is no where near anything I'm looking at or supposed to be looking at when it happened.

It's popular right now to pile on Hochuli, because I blew the San Diego call. And there is certainly no requirement that anyone have any real knowledge of officiating in order to have an opinion. Fortunately, the NFL and my boss don't agree with you. You are free to have your own opinions, and since you took the time to write me, I figured I owed you the time to respond.

Maybe he should find a new hobby for his spare time.

Bartlet for America

2008-10-09T17:25:00.002-05:00

When ALTR sent me this porn for the West Wing fan I was mostly excited to see the return of my favorite president, Jed Bartlet.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

But now Paris Hilton has tapped President Bartlet and it makes me a little sad.

DA primary winner Leon Cannizzaro doesn't know anything about the law...

2008-10-09T09:36:00.004-05:00

From an email THP received from the Capitelli campaign this morning:

Dear Capitelli Supporter,
On the week leading up to the first primary, and the days since we have received numerous requests for lawn signs, which indicates growing support for Ralph. Unfortunately on Monday night after 7:30pm, our existing signs began to disappear". Sixteen four foot by eight foot signs located on private property in Algiers were removed complete with supporting frames. One was even unscrewed from a service station wall.
We assume the the two candidates that did not move on to the second primary did not decide two days after to suddenly start removing our signs, leaving the signs of our opponent. This is disappointing, but expected, because that is how our opponent plays the "game" of politics, not an intellectual discussion of the issues, but old time machine politics operating under the dark of night. What is surprising is that our opponent who makes frequent mention of his years at Tulane and Broad, apparently is not aware of Section 67 of the Louisiana Criminal Code which is entitled THEFT. If he's serious about stopping crime in New Orleans, perhaps he should start with his
own supporters.

If we cannot respond to your sign request, please do not think that we are indifferent to your support which we value. We're confronted with a situation that our signs are coming down faster than we can put them up and hope you understand. Please continue your support of Ralph and talk about him to your friends.
Please feel free to share this information with your friends, neighbors, and other Ralph supporters.

So, as Capitelli supporters, ALTL & I are sorry if you are itching to have one of those beautiful navy blue signs in your front lawn, but can't because THEY'VE ALL BEEN STOLEN. But vote for Ralph!

It's all Cash Money, baby

2008-10-06T09:21:00.000-05:00

When listening to Juvenile's "Set It Off," it always bothered me that he rapped about not going down on a woman. Like, really irritated me - you're a thug, but can't deal with a lady in your mouth? Lame. Maybe the project chicks didn't teach him right. Well, I guess if it ever comes down to it, I'm gonna have to go with Hollygrove boy over a Third Ward/Magnolia Projects boy.

Lil Momma I love pussy, but I ain't lickin'
- Juvenile, Set It Off

That pussy in my mouth had me lost for words
- Lil Wayne, Lollipop

oh, New Orleans, how I love thee

2008-10-05T21:31:00.004-05:00

Not only does New Orleans rank 24 out of 25 by Travel and Leisure Magazine in the category of "Most Attractive People" (only behind Philadelphia, omg), but we're also one of the top three murder capitals of the world, according to Foreign Policy. Travel and Leisure explored only cities in the United States, but New Orleans is the only U.S. city on the murder capitals list.

At least Travel and Leisure ranked our fine city number one for live music/bands, destination restaurants and ethnic food/cheap eats.

John Neely Kennedy - one insightful politician!

2008-10-02T15:11:00.002-05:00

I love how John Kennedy's #1 criticism of Mary Landrieu is always that she is a Democrat. Like this website, showing that she votes with Barack Obama a lot. Wow!!

Too bad Lee Circle isn't in the JP

2008-10-01T13:53:00.002-05:00

I think the statue of Harry Lee should go in the middle of Lee Circle. The statue would change, but the name could stay the same!

cell phones are always the problem

2008-09-30T16:06:00.005-05:00

Excerpts from nola.com Cell phone use leads to arrest of Fontainebleau student

When the teacher asked for the cell phone, the girl hid it in her shirt

And then...

The teacher alerted school resource officer Phillip Aleshire, who also attempted to retrieve the girl's phone

Was that really necessary, Phil? Sheesh.

Who else attempted to retrieve the phone?

yikes

2008-09-26T13:21:00.001-05:00

This interview with Sarah Palin is uncomfortable to watch.

Fratty hair = sexy....

2008-09-25T16:09:00.002-05:00

But fascism? So not sexy.

Hard to explain

2008-09-25T16:05:00.003-05:00

How to you explain to your boss that you were late to work this morning because you started watching "The Hottie and the Nottie" starring Paris Hilton and just couldn't turn away?

It's true. It was on Bravo this morning.

Why you haven't heard from us in awhile

2008-09-24T11:57:00.001-05:00

From G-Chat this morning:

ALTL: i am going to kill someone today
ALTR: me too!
ALTR: we need to stagger the days we commit murder so we can bail each other out
ALTL: good point

SURPRISE!

2008-09-15T17:15:00.004-05:00

As of 11:30 a.m., Entergy Texas said 386,263 of its 392,960 customers, or 98.3 percent, remained without power. The company, whose vast service area runs around the north and east sides of the Houston area, actually reported an increase in outages from earlier this morning.

- chron.com

haha

2008-09-14T15:31:00.002-05:00

ISS: i'm working for ralph nader

ALTL: nice

ISS: he's here right now, too

ALTL: how's that going?
ALTL: like sitting next to you?

ISS: keeping me pretty f'n busy

ALTL: running his hand up your leg?

ISS: hahah shut up

ALTL: HEY RALPH
ALTL: U R PRETTY KEWL

ISS: HE'S IN HIS OFFICE ALL ALONE

ALTL: *WAVES*
ALTL: *FLAILS ARMS*

Creepster

2008-09-12T08:56:00.006-05:00

Due to Gustav's force, 100 year old coffin found in the roots of a tree at the Amite Baptist Church near Watson, LA. Watch the video!

[h/t The Dead Pelican]

rawr

2008-09-11T10:11:00.004-05:00

I know that nola.com finds the status of Causeway traffic to be headline worthy for the morning and evening commutes, but could they at least mention the water spout that fucked up the traffic at about 9 AM this morning? Sheesh.

Trouble the Water

2008-09-10T01:12:00.002-05:00

Don't think I've heard much about this film...

Trouble the Water: Coming to Canal Place September 19.

omfg

2008-09-09T20:51:00.006-05:00

EDIT: Click the pic. Can I not post animated gifs?

on dry land

2008-08-31T10:27:00.004-05:00

Departure: Friday, 9:30 PM
Arrival: Saturday, 3:30 AM
Total time: 6 hours
Current location: Houston
Flat tires seen en route: 22
Popped hoods: 2
Makeshift back windows: 2
Giant tire treads on road: 1
Pedestrians on the interstate: 4

The Ford Arena on the west side of Beaumont was full of charter buses in the parking lot. As we made it through Beaumont we saw a police car escorting something like 60 charter buses. Shortly after that was a police car escorting 20 or so vehicles with their hazards on. Followed again by a police car escorting 30 charter buses (we counted that time). It was quite an eerie feeling at 2something in the morning, seeing the ominous hulking shapes of the buses with their lights on, all in uniform despite being different.

Safety and well wishes to all of you.

capitalism

2008-08-29T17:46:00.000-05:00

the fight crosses oceans

2008-08-29T17:21:00.004-05:00

Banksy visits New Orleans for the third Katrina anniversary. See more here

Katrinaversary

2008-08-29T10:56:00.003-05:00

I really think that New Orleans might as well shut down for the day every day on August 29 for the next ten years. This morning it took me thirty fucking minutes to get out of Mid City because Canal was blocked off at City Park. I was staying right down the street there, so I didn't know it until I had made a block and had to go back to where I started. Then I saw a school bus get into an accident. (Yes, I know, the new memorial was unveiled today. But some of us do have to work.)

Last year I couldn't even get on the interstate to go to work because President Bush was in town so all on ramps were blocked.

Yes, please, remember everything that happened and those that we lost, but for the love of god please don't make my life more difficult than it already is!

ALTL wants to know....

2008-08-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

I am familiar with the routine for evacuating before a hurricane. You don't know when you'll return, so it's always a good idea to unplug electronics, move stuff away from windows, and de-dairy your fridge.

However, what is the proper procedure regarding *certain substances* with the possibility of a C. Ray-enforced evacuation looming?

Is one supposed to flush them down the toilet? (Just in case the looters get in, we need to keep them from going too crazy! Or to keep FEMA workers away from that sh*t.)

OR - is it better to take that stuff with you, along with your important documents and extra clothing? (But what if you get stopped and searched by law enforcement in some suck-ass town in western LA?)

Please let us know, ALTL is just dying to find out what she should do. Thanks!

Be safe out there!
<3 ALTR <3

ALTR writes a love letter

2008-08-28T21:38:00.005-05:00

Dear Bobby Jindal,

Thanks for kicking ass and taking names while the whole state, myself included, runs around like headless chilckens. Please say that it isn't all just a show because you're running for Vice President. I know potential veep candidates sometimes like to put on "running for president shows", but I know you're different. Again, thanks for being a super governor.

Love,

ALTR

2008-08-28T18:45:00.003-05:00

Water may have been flying off the shelves in some places, but Dorignac's certainly was not the place to be if that was on your agenda. It certainly wasn't on ours. My girlfriend and I went to go pick up some liquid dinner on the way home from work and we decided to make the plunge and try the new Absolut Los Angeles. Being a loyalist (my roommate and I once purchased a case of Absolut New Orleans), the first time I saw it I was unsure of how I felt supporting LA, but the pomegranate and blueberry sounded really appealing (of course we got a bottle of Absolut as back up in case this flavored vodka sucked). It has a delightful scent and goes down quite smooth. I am currently enjoying it on the rocks, but I know not everyone is a purist such as myself. My hoe threw some Sprite in hers, which cuts the vodka taste and makes it a bit more sweet. Of course the website offers some delicious alternatives, such as cranberry, pomegranate juice and lemon-lime soda to float off to Absolut La La Land. I give it a thumbs up, though I don't know that I would go out of my way to purchase it. But in this moment, it's perfect. And it will be perfect when we're sipping out of the flask when we depart for the Superdome momentarily.

His name is Gustav

2008-08-28T17:24:00.003-05:00

So, everyone's all freaking out and stuff. I really wasn't sweating it, but everyone else's stress is making me anxious! The bartender made me drink a bottle of vodka last night just to escape the insanity! Yesterday ALTR told me that she was leaving at two o'clock today!!

I don't want to deal with the insanity of gridlocked traffic trying to get out of town, so the options are leave early or stay. I don't want to leave if I don't have to. I have been lucky that for the two major evacuations for Ivan and Katrina I a) left early and beat the crowds and b) was actually on my way back to New Orleans (respectively). But, really, a part of me wants to stay, even if Gustav does head our way, simply to see what happens. However, I know both of my roommates will be leaving and I am unarmed and dogless. I did fill my tank up last night and have at least a gallon of water rolling around in the back of my car.

Tulane has cancelled classes and that was always what dictated my staying or going. I'm not a student anymore, so it really should not be the golden rule.

After Katrina you can't really say that anyone is over prepared, but...this is driving me nuts.

Given my indecision, the one sure thing in life right now is that I'm going to the football game tonight and getting loaded. While some clients have cancelled their appointments tomorrow we still have a full day ahead of us and I plan to work through it with a daquiri in hand. Looks like my evacuation buddy may have to be the one driving.

Here is a nice little contraflow map that I stumbled across in the nola.com comments.

Good luck on whatever route you, my friends, chose to take. I'll be at my neighborhood bar slamming the vodka.

/stream of conscious still drunk typing

you're not the boss of me...?

2008-08-28T12:03:00.002-05:00

So I got this e-mail in my box this morning regarding my office's hurricane procedures:

Office Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings

As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the firm's guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1:
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2:
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.

Hurricane Category #3:
Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4:
More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5:
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.

Have A Nice Day!

The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels...

2008-08-26T22:12:00.002-05:00

I love The West Wing. This scene makes me tear up every time:

wordle turtle

2008-08-26T00:03:00.003-05:00

Wordle

This grey shit is boring...

2008-08-24T20:52:00.002-05:00

I thought it smelled like nepotism in here...

2008-08-21T13:11:00.008-05:00

While eating lunch at the cafeteria in the Federal Building today, I noticed a lot of "reporter guys" (as I described them to my friend) lurking around. So, naturally, I check the news when I get back to my desk, to find there has been some document production going on this morning in the grand jury hearings on the NOAH scandal. I even saw the eyebrow guy himself, Lee Zurik!

I'm a tad embarrassed to post this, as it shows that I have not been keeping up with my news - most definitely, a hectic work schedule is to blame. Maybe this will be more incentive to dine at the federal building more often - surely landing a reporter-man will be an incentive to keep up to date on my current events!

Politics with a Punch tonight!

2008-08-14T09:18:00.004-05:00

Tonight's panel at the Cricket Club features:

Leon Cannizzaro, Former Judge, Candidate for Orleans D.A.
Suzaune Yee McKamey, Singer, Actress and Entertainer
Newell Normand, Jefferson Parish Sheriff
Cedric Richmond, State Representative and Candidate for Congress
Mark Singletary, Publisher of New Orleans City Business
Mike Smith, Comedian, Contributor to New Orleans Levee Newspaper
Dr. Michael White, Jazz Musician, Bandleader & Composer

Between out of town travels and other exciting events in our lives, this is the first Politics with a Punch that the Head Pelican girls have attended in a long time. The event starts 8 PM.

If dating is a sport...

2008-08-13T22:38:00.003-05:00

Recently, I've become obsessed with the John Williams Olympic theme. And it's not just because I like looking at Michael Phelps while listening to it.

If dating is a sport, then my wedding (if the day ever comes) would be an equivalent to the Olympics.

That said, I've decided that when that glorious day comes, I will walk down the aisle to the Olympic theme instead of the traditional bridal processional song. Finally I'd get to claim my gold medal - or rather - gold metal around my ring finger.

Using trash to sell trash (Kid & Sid love affair)

2008-08-12T20:40:00.007-05:00

Never letting us down since assuming Al Copeland's throne of creepy local entrepreneur, SDT's latest celebrity marketing push stars Kid Rock (see video #14). Kid helps Sid "keep it real" in the French Quarter, lending a hand at picking up trash as Sidney drives the golf cart, hair blowing in the wind. Jeffrey is amused too.

ALTL wonders, when was there time to film this gem with SDT's busy trash schedule and Kid Rock's tour? Also, wouldn't it have been great to be on hand for the crawfish eating lesson someone probably had to give Kid before that scene was filmed?

Newsflash: Camellia Grill now considered healthy...

2008-08-11T09:03:00.006-05:00

At least, that's what I must infer after a friend and I saw WDSU's Dr. Corey Hebert at Camellia during our Sunday morning hangover breakfast.

Da Barry Roll

2008-08-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

Night Out Against Crime

2008-08-05T13:39:00.000-05:00

Tonight: Neighbors to celebrate National Night Out

The biggun' is at 3006 Esplanade Ave. vVarious locations in the East are participating. ALTR and I will be hitting up the 3300 Camp Street event, for us uptowners.

However, I am a bit skeptical about turning on my porch light to show support. C'mon, it's still daylight out and my Entergy bill is sky high as usual!

Shockey to the rescue

2008-08-05T12:41:00.006-05:00

I've meaning to post this for some time. I know that there was a big bruhaha when the Saints aquired Jeremy Shockey from the New York Giants. But, I think that Jeremy Shockey could be good for New Orleans. Just look what he does for New York and the rest of America:

Just because he calls Bill Parcells a "homo", has bad eye sight, and is "not as wild and rebellious as some people say" (boo), doesn't mean he can't be good for us in some way!

Thank you Sports Argument Wiki!

however will i keep in touch with friends now?

2008-07-29T20:41:00.002-05:00

Just arrived back from Grand Isle a couple of hours ago only to find out that my favorite Facebook application has been removed: Facebook takes down Scrabulous. Turns out that the makers of Scrabble are laying the smack down!!

gunna lasso some fish

2008-07-24T16:28:00.001-05:00

Everyone have a good weekend, there is a ton of stuff going on! ALTR and I area Grand Isle bound...

L<3VE

2008-07-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

Nauseous in NOLA

2008-07-23T15:07:00.006-05:00

Haven't been feeling good all morning. At first I thought it was (oh shit!) morning sickness.

Then I was told it was just a big maritime suit about to go down.

Whatever the reason, it's difficult working in my little office by the river right now. Check out Brad's photos of the aftermath over at Letters in Bottles.

Beat It

2008-07-22T12:36:00.000-05:00

Last week State Rep. Michael Jackson qualified to run for the 6th District Congressional seat, dropping his democrat party affiliation.

Jackson is one of the senior partners in the law firm Jackson Bell over in the Baton Rouge. Jackson Bell represents Louisiana Citizens in many, many lawsuits filed by their insureds. They are largely absent in the process and take a slower time responding than other law firms representing Citizens. Jackon's wife Stephanie Jackson is the Claims Manager over at Louisiana Citizens.

Recently many of the cases that Jackson Bell was handling for Citizens have been moved to a firm in Lafayette (yeah, I know). I'd imagine that this is largely due to the Jackson firm's slow response time in typical lawyer bullshit. Citizens apparently doesn't employ any real policy in what firms they hire. In fact, they only have verbal agreements.

It's funny to read the disdain for Jackson in this The Advocate article. It's all to Jefferson-esque to me. But hey, you know, if Dollar Bill pulls a Lieberman, then Jackson might as well.

See also:
Report on Citizens Property Insurance Corp. released from February
Louisiana Citizens Performance Audit Report December 2007

Soft serve boobies!

2008-07-22T08:36:00.001-05:00

Come and get 'em, Grey Ghost!

Today's page in the calendar

2008-07-21T22:18:00.001-05:00

BAWLS

2008-07-18T16:25:00.003-05:00

This will be a fine story to tell the first girl he hooks up with:

Brie Kennedy, individually and on behalf of her minor child
v.
Rezzie's Child Care Inc.
7/11/2008 661937
(Gretna)

Negligence complaint. The plaintiff's child suffered severe injuries when his testicles were bitten by another child.

Lane Shifter's University

2008-07-18T08:45:00.004-05:00

Dear LA Z55146,

I know that in your football glory days at your high school (oh, how you wanted to make that LSU football team) you were used to barreling through people without a care as to their well being. However, 30+ years later, please understand that the same does not apply when changing lanes in your over-sized vehicle. While no one may have been in the lane immediately to your left, someone was CLEARLY in the left lane two lanes over. You are lucky I am a cogniscant driver at 8 AM and did not barrell into the back of your vehicle. Your arms flailing about as I slammed on my brakes and laid on the horn only confirm that the symbol on your license plate indicates a mental handicap. Please stay in Fat City and off the Causeway from now on.

Money ain't grey

2008-07-16T15:40:00.006-05:00

From Sunday's T-P comes the article Vandalism or Art? on, well, the recently hot topic of graffiti throughout the city. At the end it referenced a new bill going into effect on August 15, 2008: House Bill No. 163 (Act No. 8), authored primarily by Rep. Tony Ligi, Jr. of Metairie and by my state rep. Walt Leger, III.

It shall be unlawful for any person to intentionally deface with graffiti immovable or movable property, whether publicly or privately owned, without the consent of the owner.

Sounds fair enough, though this is pretty much stating the obvious. The big deal about this bill is the maximum penalty is booted up from $500 to $10,000. So, what does this mean for our grey friend who has no qualms about doing his community "service" in broad daylight? What does this bill define graffiti as?

"Graffiti" includes but is not limited to any sign, inscription, design, drawing, diagram, eatching, symbol, lettering, name, or marking placed upon immovable or movable property in such a manner and in such a location as to deface the property and be visibile to the general public.

That being said...

"Deface" or "defacing" is the damaging of immovable or movable property by means of painting, marking, scratching, drawing, or etching with graffiti.

Painting...immoveable or moveable property. Sounds like this includes the Grey Ghost to me. Hopefully the NOPD won't continue to look the other way and will actually enforce the law. On Radtke more than anyone else, largely because he is a menace and dangerous. After the stunt he pulled on Dingler he's got to have something coming to him.

On a completely separate note, I'm curious as to why Sen. Cheryl Gray was one of five nay votes.

A Little To the Left to grayc show details 4:20 PM (0 minutes ago)

Senator Gray,

Could you please explain why you were one of five nay votes in the above matter (RE: higher penalties for graffiti)?

Are you in cahoots with the Gray Ghost?

Thank you.

Let's build a playground!

2008-07-16T15:06:00.003-05:00

July 2:

July 16:

Now that they've painted this thing, what exactly is it for again?

There's always something strange afoot at Lakeside Mall.