Happy Valentine's Day

This is my first Valentine's Day as a NOLA blogger, so I've decided to provide our readers with some interesting options for today's celebrations.

First up, a radio station in West Virgina is offering listeners a chance to win a free DIVORCE for Valentine's Day. This is the perfect gift for anyone who's sleeping with a married man or woman, or for the NOLA hardcore Catholic who just can't bring themself to divorce a poorly-chosen spouse. ALTR has signed Wendy Vitter up for the contest. [h/t CNN]

Secondly, ALTR has just learned this morning that Anderson Cooper will be getting his 360° on in New Orleans tonight. Anderson Cooper? More like Anderson SUPER! (Thanks for asking!) Anyway, he'll be here, so all you adoring girls-with-no-gaydar (like Renee Zellweger) and admiring young studs should flock to wherever he is. Personally, ALTR doesn't have a date tonight - so if anyone out there knows AC's whereabouts, please send them to us. I'd be down for attempting a photo op with the guy.

Finally, I've come across the perfect Valentine's Day e-cards for the Republican lover on your list. From gopvalentine.com:




These are just a few samples of what they have to offer. Don't worry ALTL, I'll be flooding your work email inbox with these all day!

gay gay gay

With all the gay tendencies being exhibited by the GOP lately what with the dirty online talk of Congressman Mark Foley and a male page, good ol' State Rep. Bob Allen offering to perform blow jobs in bathrooms, President of the Young Republicans Glenn Murphy, Jr. giving a hummer to a guy that was asleep, and of course the now infamous Senator Larry Craig.

Maybe the party should consider having the Republican National Convention or some leadership conference in New Orleans alongside Southern Decadence. That way no one can falsely accuse said party leaders of wrongful acts because, well, everyone is doing it. My first year I saw one dude tossing another's salad in the streets. If they want to stick with anonymity, then hell, wear some leather mask, as the leather daddies and their bitches are welcome.

Tucker Carlson and his other fag stomping buddies can work security at the strictly hetero bars. However, Michael Flory is not invited, to distance himself from the rampant gayness, he will again assault young girls, what with the long weekend and the incoming freshman girls having their first weekend in New Orleans sans parents. Special guest appearance by Senator David Vitter, who will lecture on diaper wearing, hookers, and how these are not gay. Maybe Senator Craig can be named some sort of Grand Marshall or VIP, after he resigns and/or comes out of the closet.

Anyone who calls in sick to your office this AM has a Decadence hangover, there is no other explanation...

Since Southern Decadence will likely cause alot of "de-briefing" this weekend, here's a morning briefing:

● Where there's smoke, there's fire. At least this anti-HRC Republican hopes anyway. Some Asian-Americans are angry at the GOP for commenting on the fundraising Clinton scandal. [Politico]

● The NAACP challenges Secretary of State Jay Dardenne's voter purge. Only in Louisiana can dead people and Texans vote. That is, if the NAACP gets its way.[International Herald Tribune]

● It's Turd Blossom's last day in the White House. [WAFB]

● Oh, the irony. McCain qualifies for FEC welfare, interpreted by some as a desperate move. Ironically, this is of the same sort of election reform the senator pushed in the early years of the Bush administration. ALTR really hopes the man has some tricks up his sleeve...[Also from Politico]

● The Larry Craig interrogation tapes are ready for your consumption in a porno-frenzy we haven't seen since the Starr Report. Yes, you liberal sicko, I have a link for you: hear it at TSG. CNN played some of the tape's "greatest hits" over and over again this morning much to ALTR's chagrin during my morning primp session. Larry Craig might not be gay, but his boyfriend is. [MoJo]