"How to Lose A PILF Customer in 10 Days" by Wendy Yow Ellis

Prositute, Flynt keep the pressure on Vitter. [Times-Picayune]

Wendy Yow Ellis a/k/a "Leah" was hooking up with the hottest PILF there ever has been in the Pelican State until one day when she tried to take it to the next level, suggesting that maybe they take their relationship beyond the business and even divulged her real name! Like Wendy, many of us New Orleans women have been through similar situations - where we're just more interested than he is and we inevitably get attached. Then sometimes we might slip up and, well, tell him our real names - which, in a hooker's world, is WAY up there on the list of what NOT to do when dating someone. Fortunately for Vitter, he was able to peace out politely by simply by being shocked and horrified that the her real name was the same as that of his wife: Wendy. To Dave, that just wasn't cool.

Tuesday's press conference featured Larry Flynt and Wendy talking about their plans for letting the truth be told about Senator Vitter's extracurricular activities with Ellis, which lasted around of 5 months.

Also featured in the press conference were Larry Flynt's other plans to expose more of the seedy underside of Congress including plans to out "a closeted gay senator who he said consistently votes against gay rights."

[*AHEM* Lindsey Graham!]

But before you jump to conclusions about how Ellis is only going about these shenanigans for the $1 million Flynt offered earlier this year in a Washington Post ad looking for anyone willing to divulge illicit information about a government leader, not so fast! Ms. Ellis will not be receiving this award because Wendy wasn't the first to point out Vitter's indiscretions - she is simply doing what's right in telling America the truth about a senator most of the country hadn't heard of until the past few months. And it surely sucks a whole whole lot for one of ALTR's favorite PILFS.

Even though Wendy and Larry made alot of noise at the press conference, one thing rings loud and clear from the photos on NOLA.com: Larry Flynt and Wendy Yow Ellis are definitely doing the Schiavo:


And before you call me a huge asshole for creating the picture, please reference UrbanDictionary, which is always right about everything, to see that there are other assholes just like me out there.

Keep doing the Schiavo, Wendy, and the whole country will talk about your for no good reason at all.

Imagine eavesdropping on that conversation...

While doing some YouTube surfing, I came across this gem of a video, clips of David Vitter speaches to the tune of and cut with Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?" It also included choice quotes and information.

Interestingly, one of banners declared:

Atleast five phone calls were made between the DC Madam and David Vitter during his time in Congress. Two of those calls were made during votes of the United States House of Representatives.

How does one do this? Sitting out on the floor, folks in the Gallery watching you. waiting to vote yay or nay, or having already voted and just waiting for some colleagues - just step out, punch in the numbers memorized by heart and greeting the person on the other line "Hey, it's Diaper Dave, what's the special tonight?" I mean, this guy would have been sweating and running up multiple calls had he been in the House during the marathon CAFTA vote.

My inner freak intrigued, I did a little further investigating to find out "DC Madam" Called Vitter During Votes. No, Vitty-cent as the local bloggers haved dubbed him, is not into the, ah, more public aspects of sex. But...

Telephone records released by Deborah Jeane Palfrey indicate she placed calls that were answered by Vitter's Washington phone on five occasions while Vitter was in the House, from 1999 through 2001. On four of those five days, the House was in session and Vitter participated in every roll call vote.

One day was particularly busy in the House, with Vitter's phone receiving Palfrey's call in the middle of the eighth recorded vote of the day, at 5:06 p.m., according to the records.

The records do not indicate whether Vitter himself took the calls or if another person, an answering machine or another answering device picked up the calls

He might answer. And apparently hookers aren't just dumb hos, but they have no concept of time. Does she honestly think his job as a member of the United States Congress ended at 5 PM?

Dejected, ALTL waits to hear something more exciting about Senator Vitter's alternate adventures with prostitutes.

someone to see you...

I would totally be the jokester Congressperson, especially when it comes to sex -- MoJo.

Of course, I would probably die of laughter before they even read the note.

Prostitution? That's illegal, right?

One thing noticibly absent from The Head Pelican is commentary on the Vitter scandal. We don't have any good excuses for this oversight, like that ALTR might have a VIP job in Vitter's constituent office, and therefore is not inclined to comment. No, I'm not that important. ALTL and ALTR simply are new to this blog thing - the Vitter scandal "broke" when ALTR was in the middle of a busy work week. Or a serious bender. But, whatever the reason, I promise to be more on top of my game.

Nevertheless, ALTR reserved the right to make random comments on the scandal, such as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's comments on the accusations shortly after they came out, stopping short of calling for an ethics investigation of the senator. According to this article on nola.com, Sen. Reid, a lawyer, needs a refresher course in what's illegal. Like prositution.

"There are a lot of accusations about...prostitutes in Louisiana. I don't know if that's breaking the law or not." - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.)

Maybe that's why we're having trouble getting money from the feds down here - they still think we condone prostitution.