Not In My SDT

A few days ago, a friend came by my house for a visit. When I answered the door, she had a horrified look on her face and said...

"ALTR, some guy just put a bag of dog shit in your trashcan!"

No, it wasn't the Uptown Billy Madison playing a prank on me. It was apparently some guy, who was walking his dog and carrying poop bags, that had placed his dog's bag of poop in my trashcan, which sits in a nook in the hedges on the side of my building. My response to my friend was apathetic: "Meh...it really doesn't bother me. I'd rather have shit bags in my trash can than have dog shit on the grass, where I'll definitely step on it when I'm getting into my car."

My response to my concerned friend was what I have often thought when I've observed (and smelled) bags of dog shit in the SDT can whenever I throw in a garbage bag or haul the can out to the curb on trash days. But, honestly, there are some days where I'm especially frustrated or angry at the world, and it really does piss me off that people can't carry those shit bags home to their own garbage cans. It's not my fault that they chose to walk their dog far away from their own house. Moreover, I pay for my trash collection - stop adding more shit (literally!) to the can that is already overflowing with my discarded pizza boxes and wine bottles (and wine boxes).

For a non-dog owner with street parking in a dog-infested city like New Orleans, is it better to have shit in a bag at the bottom of your trashcan than shit stuck to your favorite high heels when you're running late to class or work?

Probably so.

But that doesn't mean that it's not super-annoying to witness my neighbor drop Fideaux's latest deuce in my trashcan when I know perfectly well that he has an equal-sized SDT can only 2 houses down the street. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

New Orleans City Code Sec. 18-13 provides for a fine of at least $100 and 21 hours of trash cleanup for owners of animals who "soil" public or private property. And, like the City Code drafters, I think we all agree that shit on the ground is totally unacceptable. Around Uptown, I've noticed several houses with milk cartons containing grocery bags nailed to trees, encouraging dog walkers to help themselves to a bag should one be needed. These creations are no doubt the brainchild of some homeowners who just want that shit off the ground. But what do these milk carton-bag holder creators think about shit bags in their SDT cans? Does having a plethora of bags also imply "feel free to use my SDT can to dispose of your shit bag"?

Perhaps I could put a sign under the lid of my SDT can that says "I don't put shit in your can, don't put shit in mine." But I feel pretty certain that such a sign would actually encourage the offenders to let their dogs take a massive dump right by my door.

There are various message board threads on this topic that I found doing a Google search, but I wonder what the New Orleans take on the issue might me. If anyone else has some thoughts on this - what's proper and what's not, I'd love to hear some input. Perhaps our blog has a future as the Emily Post-style resource for dog poop etiquette in New Orleans.

"The BP executives were injured but survived...Nine rig crew on the rig floor and two engineers died."

The BP executives were injured but survived, according to one account. Nine rig crew on the rig floor and two engineers died. - Favorite quote from this interesting article.

Bubble of methane triggered rig blast.

So long, DIxie

Earlier this week, I was saddened to hear that the Kappa Alpha Order (KA) had officially banned Old South events. While KA nationals never actually prescribed or recommended the practice to the fraternity's chapters, it has become a popular tradition in campuses all across the country, including several of the universities in Louisiana.

It just goes to show how - as with so many traditions - the misbehavior of some can ruin something for everyone. During my days at Tulane, Old South was one of the few civilized and well-executed fraternity events on campus. I am sure the fraternity will find other ways to celebrate it's heritage and honor its spiritual leader, General Robert E. Lee. But I will always be a sucker for a man in a gray uniform.

Louisiana hates drugs

Via The Dead Pelican - Louisiana hates the reefer.

In a related story, ALTL will be moving out of the state.

Going Rogue, eh?

Yes, Urban Dictionary has some recently added definitions for this term, but before Sarah Palin decided to "go rogue", there was this defintion: A male that allows a transexual man fuck him hard in the ass, yet still claims to be straight.

Thanks, someecards!!

Blame it on the swine flu

Several Tulane football players have come down with swine flu like symptoms.

Let the jokes ensue.

Distractions

Thanks, ALTL! I feel immediately energized just watching that video. Who knew Mandy Moore looked so good in a Laura Bush suit? She looks great!

I have rough 3 years ahead of me, but hopefully the pursuit of procrastination will give me more opportunities to blog!

And now I don't have that annoying job thing to get in the way of my Head Pelican time. Also - no more men for the next 3 years - no more distractions! I am now married to law school and the Head Pelican.

Give your vagina wings!

I bought ALTR a case of this to celebrate her starting law school.

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

Buy me a drink!

Depending on what circles you run in, you may or may not have heard about the free T Pain show on Tuesday night at the House of Blues.

After waiting in line for, oh, 1.5 hours, we finally made it into the gates of House of Blues, only to be a couple people late to get into the capacity filled HoB. While the security hassled the skanky and obnoxious feather-earringed girl and her crew, my roommate and I watched the show on the tv from the comfort of the bar. Not wanting to lose our prime seating, my roommate filled not one, but two cups with urine, the last one sprinkling slightly on my leg. In my tequila-drunk disbelief I start smacking his arm and yelling at him for pissing on me when the girl next to me realized that she got hit too - despite his protests that there must be a leak in the ceiling! At that moment, three people emerged from the over heated crowd, the new security guy looked right at me, and I grabbed Peaches from the clutches of the hysteric girl and we made it into the show.

All in all an eclectic crowd and actually a pretty good show. But get this - after the last song was played, the crowd pretty much RAN out of the HoB. No encore. I encouraged Peaches to get a set list, and when I turned around from bumming a cigarette off of a stranger, I see him with this plastered on his chest:



HE DIDN'T PLAY ON A MOTHERFUCKIN' BOAT! Thanks shitty New Orleans crowd!!

Sick.

I tell my mother everything.

So when I was rehashing the events of past few weeks with a certain gentleman caller, I explained that we didn't go "all the way" because of some....errr, physical difficulties he had below the belt that I attributed to drinking.

Then she suggested that perhaps the problem wasn't excessive drinking, but that he was on high blood pressure medicine. "That's a pretty common side effect of those kinds of drugs," she said.

Later I thought about what she said. And then I remembered, my father has high blood pressure. Controlled well by medication.

Gross.