Give your vagina wings!

I bought ALTR a case of this to celebrate her starting law school.

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

I'm it.

After being on hiatus, I noticed that Latin Teacher at FEMA, Katrina, and other bad words tagged me in this meme that has been floating around the internet. So, uh, here it is.

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
   
2. Post the rules on your blog.
   
3. Write six random things about yourself.
   
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
   
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
   
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

About me...

1. I cannot give blood.
2. I took a 24 hour bus ride to participate in the March for Women's Lives in April 2004, followed by a 24 hour bus ride back (I think a total of 10 hours were spent in DC).
3. I spent one summer as a Capitol Hill intern.
4. Muffalettas smell fantastic to me, but I cannot stand to eat them - I don't like olives.
5. Last St. Patrick's Day we put the keg in the pool because we thought it was cold enough.
6. I once bought a case of Absolut New Orleans for $21.99 at Dorignac's.

So there.

Who do I tag? Uhhh...how about my ho A Little to the Right, Daily Hops, Brad V at Letters in Bottles, heh, New Orleans Murder Blog, Drunk Athlete, and, uh...that's enough. I don't know enough "people" in the blogosphere.

haha

ISS: i'm working for ralph nader

ALTL: nice

ISS: he's here right now, too

ALTL: how's that going?
ALTL: like sitting next to you?

ISS: keeping me pretty f'n busy

ALTL: running his hand up your leg?

ISS: hahah shut up

ALTL: HEY RALPH
ALTL: U R PRETTY KEWL

ISS: HE'S IN HIS OFFICE ALL ALONE

ALTL: *WAVES*
ALTL: *FLAILS ARMS*

wordle turtle

Wordle

Where's my parade?

So I had sex with a woman on the ship. And I went through this whole thing you know - AM I GAY?! AM I STRAIGHT?!? And then I realized...

I'm just slutty.

Where's my parade? What about slut pride?!

I fuckin' love Margaret Cho. And the timing is just so perfect having called out this dude as a greedy bastard after he told me he's been doing it with a guy all summer but it "doesn't count."

Here's the long version of her account of being the resident stand up comic on an Olivia Cruise. From her video I'm The One That I Want:

we all have our superstitions...

Actual conversation I had a little earlier today:

ALTL: i was sitting on my couch watching the game in my gym clothes
MG: i see
ALTL: and i got stoned at half time and hate driving like that
MG: i see it was the 1/2 time bong session that lead us to victory!!!
MG: be ready do that that again on thursday lol
ALTL: hahaha

Everyone has their playoff superstitions...I guess this is mine?

oh man...

Wanna get high?

The best part was when the same guy came down a different section of windows later and he was smoking a cigarette. I guess a smoke break up 28 stories is as good as any.

hooked on jesus, like whoa

Report: Retailer halts sale of 'Jesus' cosmetics

SINGAPORE - A cosmetics range with cheeky taglines that extolled the virtues of "Looking Good for Jesus" has been pulled from stores in Singapore after some Roman Catholics complained the items were disrespectful, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Promising to "Redeem your reputation and more," the product line included a "virtuous vanilla"-flavored lip balm and a "Get Tight with Christ" hand and body cream, as well as bags and other items sold by British retailer Topshop and produced by Blue Q, The Straits Times said.

I guess they would not be a fan of the baby Jesus butt plug.

my stomach doesn't need a bouncer

And so begins the quick death of my liver.

actual text message I had to send on Sunday:

Sorry I threw up out your car window. I guess trying to drink an entire bottle of vodka on an empty stomach is not a good idea. Do I owe you a car wash?

Needless to say, we had fun at Krewe du Vieux and somehow I ended up in the bushes in front of my house.

Our wine rack has now become a vodka rack and my roommate just ordered pounds of glitter on the internet. To be delivered to ALTR at work, of course.

I love Mardi Gras.

deep thoughts

R: I hate the Vikings because they have the same colors as LSU.
ALTL: I hate the Vikings because Warren Moon played for them and he was a wife beater.
R: I hate the Vikings because people from Minnesota have funny accents.

dingle berries

Happy Holidays from the dog house!

actual conversations...

ALTL: hey look, ALTR found the perfect card for soandso to give her dad -- http://threesquaresgreetings.com/proddetail.asp?prod=S502
R:  is this like public friendly
ALTL:  yes - her dad wasn't a rapist or pornographer or anything, just a human trafficer
R: ha

---

SS: Ambien is the best drug ever invented.

ALTL: Really?

SS: Yes!

ALTL: I have a hard time believing you'd tell me Ambien was better than Viagra.

SS: Good point.  But I'll tell you this.  Ambien doesn't give you indigestion. 

Some random thoughts...

• The Times-Pic has picked up on the omg-Golden-Compass-is-anti-Christian bandwagon, citing the same e-mail I received about a month or so back. Why do Christians get so up in arms about this stuff? It's a work of fiction. Is it because it isn't the same BS the community wants you to be spoon fed? Sheesh, relax.
  
• Cuervo has done it again. They have now come out with Cuervo Reserva de al Familia. Plata. This has traditionally been a premium anejo. I guess this plata tequila is such a big deal because Cuervo actually makes it in Mexico instead of in Connecticut. I was drunk and really upset when I spied that bottle at the bar while enjoying my Milagro Silver.
  
• This Tonka truck commercial irritates me every time I see it. "Boys are built different." Little girls can't be interested in trucks? Or making messes? So annoying and sexist.
  
• I can't wait for this National Championship nonsense to be over. It's already out of hand and I want to bang my head against my computer monitor every time the talk gets going in my office.
  
• Not a lot of people are talking about it 'round here (except Adrastros, but Dickie Scruggs got busted last week for bribery. As someone once told me, some people have more nerve than sense. Check out the Insurance Coverage Law Blog for a play-by-play in what's going on with that.
  
• Politics With A Punch is Thursday night. The ALTR and I will be attending. Personally I'm hoping to jump Roop Raj after the show.
  
• Lastly, In Matte has joined our esteemed panel of bloggers. Look for her well versed and insightful blogs to appear soon!
  

random

In some random, bizarre news...

Inmate freed after test finds powder isn't meth. No, folks, it was dehydrated cat urine, as the woman claimed from day one. wtf is anyone doing with dried cat urine? You can go a million days with that one..

Bobby Brown has a heart attack but then denies it. C'mon, Bobby, we all know your heart was fluttering from the combination of Viagra and crack.

George Gipp returned to the surface. Of win-one-for-the-gipper notoriety, Gipp's remains were exhumed for DNA testing. Nobody knows why. Maybe it wasn't strep throat and a bout with pneumonia that killed him. dun Dun DUN!

The Arkansas legislature feels there is no rush to fix a law that toddlers to get married. By simply forgetting a very important "not" in the text, politicians have now caused a lawsuit or two, since no one wants to actually follow the law.

A Christian clown was arrested on child pornography charges. Let's just point at the key words: Klutzo. Philippines. orphanage. House of Joy. As if the Alabama reverend weren't enough.