Showing posts with label Paris Hilton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paris Hilton. Show all posts

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Bartlet for America

When ALTR sent me this porn for the West Wing fan I was mostly excited to see the return of my favorite president, Jed Bartlet.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

But now Paris Hilton has tapped President Bartlet and it makes me a little sad.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hard to explain

How to you explain to your boss that you were late to work this morning because you started watching "The Hottie and the Nottie" starring Paris Hilton and just couldn't turn away?

It's true. It was on Bravo this morning.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Your AM dailies

ALTR has a serious hangover from last night's Politics with a Punch where yours truly witnessed firsthand ALTL's feminist/anti-establishment-loving dilemma in forming an opinion on Canal Street Madam Jeanette Maier. The Head Pelican girls went to the show not really knowing what to expect, but were surprised to find out that the Madam was on the evening's panel.



Here are some AM dailies to keep you occupied while I get over my hangover:

* Paris Hilton’s lawyers save the heiress from having to shop for even more court-appropriate outfits. [EOnline]

* Texas executes its 400th. [WAFB] And apparently the EU thinks it can tell Texas what to do. [AfroSpear] As if Texas lawmakers really know what the EU is - "I thought Europe was a continent, not a country!"

* Exactly the kind of story those liberal NRA-haters don't want you to read about: 22 year-old woman kills intruder during a home invasion in Luling. [WGNO]

* When Congress goes back to school soon, the education debate will be heating up. An interesting tidbit with insight into ALTR's own fascination with education policy. Meanwhile thousands of New Orleans families will see their private school bills arrive in the mail soon.[Tallahassee Democrat]

* ALTR thinks ALTL will appreciate this Wonkette bit on a certain Craig's List want ad for oh-so-many ironic reasons. [Wonkette]

I'll post again after I finish my AM coffee and find out exactly what my crazy boss needs me to do today.