Live from Election Day

Seen: Neil Abramson getting his "Just Neil" on at Jefferson and St. Charles wearing his usual white-shirt-and-khakis uniform. ALTL agrees that he looks like Jack from Will and Grace, limp wrist and all. Is that guy really a 40-something? Before ALTR could get a coveted handshake and complete her starstruck sighting, Neil jumped into the Neilmobile to be escorted to his next intersection engagement. What's the deal, Neil?

Attorney's fleas

Overhead in a CBD law firm: An older partner lecturing a younger associate at his firm on which flea product to use on the younger associates new dog. Apparently there is a "flea infestation" at the young attorney's condo.

Older attorney: "Use Sentinel - it's what I use on *********. If a flea gets on him, if it bites the dog it makes the flea infertile immediately..." followed by a long scientific description on how the medicine actually works.

So apparently the boss has a repressed desire to be a veterinarian or is a scientific genius, yet does not know how to send a fax to save his life.

Walk like a 'mo

It doesn't take much for a single female living in New Orleans to get frustrated with the inordinate amount of terribly good-looking gay men that inhabit the city. Fortunately, ALTR has a very sensitive & accurate gaydar.

But there is hope for those of you out there who aren't 3rd generation fag hags like me. The findings of a new study suggest that you can take the guess-work out of scoping out that hottie you see at the grocery store, the park, or whatever place you may go that is frequented by male members of both teams. Basically, if he walks like he's strolling up St. Ann Street, you might want to reconsider. [MSNBC]

Put me out of my misery

After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

The Onion hits the nail on the head - It's Only Tuesday. Friday is just so far away. And this weekend is bound to be insane. Oh boy.

Senate District 5 Forum

About a week late, but ALTL and ALTR attended the Senate District Forum over at the Green Charter Middle School last Tuesday. More established bloggers, the likes of Adrastros and Some Came Running have already posted their reviews. I can't really elaborate, but, again, here are a couple of noteworthy tidbits:

• ALTR couldn't get over the fact that Irma Dixon thinks she invented the internet. Who does she think she is, Al Gore?
  
• Jalila Jefferson-Bullock is a speed talker. I mean, seriously, I had a hard time following most of what she said. But we were all sure to catch her saying she is so glad her child behaved himself.
  
• Dude, Cheryl Gray is hot! And not married. Or at least she doesn't wear a ring. Hmmm.
  
• David Williams is not a career politician.
  

I have to agree with the bloggers above that David Williams stood out and may be the best candidate for the job. However, maybe it's just my 'hood and commute to work, but I don't think that Jalila Jefferson-Bullock is winning the yard sign war. I see David Williams signs everywhere. The election on Saturday could prove interesting, as the votes might be split evenly between Gray and Jefferson, and to a lesser extent Dixon versus Williams. I just don't see a clear win the first time around, making what will probably be a Gray vs. Williams run off an intense and tight race. It's unlikely the Jefferson political machine will prevail. Gray is winning the endorsement battle, with support from the Alliance for Good Government and the much-coveted Times-Pic backing (amongst others). Gray is sharing the Gambit endorsement with Williams, who can also boast LABI, the Republicans of New Orleans (whatever their organization name really is) as well as local Democrat groups.

Saturday night will be an exciting one.

Nighttime newsbowl

• Tide's a wastin': Tide forces Walter Boasso to pull some lame ad - apparently there are no copyright laws in Da Parish. [WAFB]

• Maybe this is why my boss refuses to make me our firm's administrator: Woman Accused of Embezzling Gertler, Gertler, Vincent & Plotkin Law Firm asbestos/ambulance chasing funds.

• Election 2008: Rudy & Mitt are spending like ALTR with a new credit card. [The Huffington Post]

• OMG! Louisiana is the most corrupt state in the Union. [Corporate Crime Reporter]

• Since apparently I have alot in common with strippers, I really appreciated a particular story about a stripper out of Indianapolis who received worker's compensation from a pole-dancing related incident. [WAFB]

I'm a feminist, dammit.

In it's next issue, Newsweek asks Is Now the Right Time for the ERA? In the 1970s and early 80s it was a HUGE FREAKING DEAL, but I have to agree with the article when it suggests that the ERA (renamed the Women's Equality Amandement) is largely symbolic now and will do little to change things. I have to wonder, does that make Phyllis Schlafly satisfied or upset, as she prides herself on defeating the passage of the ERA is 1972. But we do symbolic things all the time, and it still means something.

We're still out there working to better things for women everywhere. Women nowadays are in positions that our feminist predecessors could only dream of. It's not always the hardcore grassroots activism the likes of Gloria Steinem championed (who married Christian Bale's father in 2000, by the way), but we're still around doing things in another way. The 2004 March for Women's Lives saw record numbers flood the capitol. For the first time in history we have a female Speaker of the House. A woman has a viable chance to win the presidency (don't laugh). We still have the right to choose when it comes to reproductive rights. Locally, Women of the Storm formed to help our city and region recover from Hurricane Katrina.

I attended the Feminist Majority Foundation Southern Leadership Conference a couple weeks back. The group was small, given it was for the region encompassing 15 states, but great none the less. Networking, educating, giving men and women alike resources to go out in the world and work towards the greater good of women everywhere.

Of course there are still those out there who hate on the feminists. Feminist.org was recently nominated for several Blogger's Choice Awards and of course there has been a backlash of the get-back-in-the-kitchen-you-are-a-dumb-woman variety. We deal with that everyday. The typical question that ensues if I identify myself as a feminist "Oh. Are you a lesbian?" Does it matter? Little do those ignoramuses know that Feminism and Romance Go Hand and Hand (or other "romantic" activities). However, Schlafly would advise you men to remove yourselves from any relationship you may have with a feminist ASAP.

I'm a feminist, dammit.

Sunday surprise

This Sunday was full of surprises. The Saints won a game, and ALTR got a last-minute invite to the Parkway Partners "Feast With the Stars" Jazz Brunch at Gallier Hall. It's always nice to have connected friends i.e. ALTL to swing a spot at a table amongst various local celebrities that we'll later blog about. It was an excellent way to shed our hangovers from the previous night's festivities in celebration of ALTL's upcoming birthday.

The Head Pelican Girls sucked down mimosas & Bloody Marys, and enjoyed food from amazing restaurants all over town who served samples of various dishes (my favorite was the Leek & Shiitake Champagne Cream Soup from K-Paul's) while bidding on lots of exciting items in the silent auction.

A highlight of the morning was certainly ALTL's bidding war with Mr. Rob Couhig over the one-time use of a "Junkyard Hot Dog Cart" stand for an event. Sadly, neither my co-blogger nor the former mayoral candidate were the winners of the stand. ALTL wasn't quite so disappointed at not winning when she realized that the stand didn't even come staffed with studly young hot dog servers. Another highlight was seeing an elderly New Orleans society woman wearing a Chanel suit that probably costs more than ALTR makes in a year stuff 10+ chocolate chip cookies from the Cafe Reconcile table into her purse.

Among other strange hungover conversations between ALTL and ALTR at the event when we weren't surrounded by various VIPs at our table in the "Releaf New Orleans" room, we each observed Council-At-Large candidates Virginia Boulet and Jackie Clarkson, both in attendance at the event. Yours truly was surprised to find out that Virginia Boulet in fact white. Meanwhile, ALTL revealed that she had no idea Jackie Clarkson was the mother of actress Patricia Clarkson, and also confessed that she thought Jackie Clarkson was not white. And we call ourselves political bloggers! Surprises all around.

Now we're back at work after a fun weekend accompanied by the most beautiful weather the Big Easy has seen in a long time.

God is what?

I am stuck sitting in traffic on St. Charles this evening, seeing the K-Ville trailers at Audubon Park and wondering who will shoot who in the park for the next episode. Some red neck in a beater two cars ahead of me has this huge sticker on his back glass: GOD IS PRO-LIFE. Pro-life, huh? You know, I'm pro-life. And pro-choice. But I highly doubt that God is anti-choice. And if God were pro-life, you're certainly going to hell for killing yourself with those damn cigarettes!

random

In some random, bizarre news...

Inmate freed after test finds powder isn't meth. No, folks, it was dehydrated cat urine, as the woman claimed from day one. wtf is anyone doing with dried cat urine? You can go a million days with that one..

Bobby Brown has a heart attack but then denies it. C'mon, Bobby, we all know your heart was fluttering from the combination of Viagra and crack.

George Gipp returned to the surface. Of win-one-for-the-gipper notoriety, Gipp's remains were exhumed for DNA testing. Nobody knows why. Maybe it wasn't strep throat and a bout with pneumonia that killed him. dun Dun DUN!

The Arkansas legislature feels there is no rush to fix a law that toddlers to get married. By simply forgetting a very important "not" in the text, politicians have now caused a lawsuit or two, since no one wants to actually follow the law.

A Christian clown was arrested on child pornography charges. Let's just point at the key words: Klutzo. Philippines. orphanage. House of Joy. As if the Alabama reverend weren't enough.