ridiculous

I have been totally slammed at work. I haven't been able to keep up with the public housing debate. But...peaceful protest. Look it up.

I get a phone call from a guy coming from downtown to my office. He is stuck in a "riot." Come to find out, since he has a radar detector and GPS unit stuck to the inside of his windshield as well as a pair of handcuffs on his rear view mirror, the crowd on Poydras wherever he was thought him a cop. His car got hit with a milkshake, eggs, and other misc. food items. It took him forever to get through the mob surrounding his car. Then he gets stuff all over his suit trying to clean off his vehicle.

This sort of shit pisses me off. I don't care what your cause is. Violence is not the answer. Sure, violence may get you things, but then you're no better (in this case) than common criminals.

Then the Live updates feed just irritates me further.

making the jump from beer to vodka

BEEGS.COM: The latest organic vodka comes from a surprising source, Anheuser-Busch. The folks behind Budweiser is now selling the “ultra-premium” Purus vodka in the Northeast. Purus vodka is distilled in Italy’s Piemonte region and is made from water from the Italian Alps and wheat grown without pesticides or commercial fertilizers.
The bottle is 100% recyclable and the label uses soy-based ink. It is the first vodka created and marketed specifically by A-B’s subsidiary, Long Tail Libations. The bottle sells for $35. The company will plant one tree for each of the first 100,000 registrants at Purus’s website.

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I don't buy it. Nor will I.

deep thoughts

R: I hate the Vikings because they have the same colors as LSU.
ALTL: I hate the Vikings because Warren Moon played for them and he was a wife beater.
R: I hate the Vikings because people from Minnesota have funny accents.

dingle berries

Happy Holidays from the dog house!

actual conversations...

ALTL: hey look, ALTR found the perfect card for soandso to give her dad -- http://threesquaresgreetings.com/proddetail.asp?prod=S502
R:  is this like public friendly
ALTL:  yes - her dad wasn't a rapist or pornographer or anything, just a human trafficer
R: ha

---

SS: Ambien is the best drug ever invented.

ALTL: Really?

SS: Yes!

ALTL: I have a hard time believing you'd tell me Ambien was better than Viagra.

SS: Good point.  But I'll tell you this.  Ambien doesn't give you indigestion. 

V U L V A

Seriously, what the fucking hell. The Germans have brought us VULVA Original:

VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a smelling substance for your own pleasure. Only a tiny amount of the precious, organic substance needs to be applied to the back of the hand and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK: In German their website is reichmichund.com or in English smellmeand.com. Say it out loud. You got it.

Apparently this has been around for a little while, but it's news to me. Now, I'm no expert, but I imagine not all vag smells the same. Who is the lucky girl who gets to have her vag peddled about the world. Maybe this is just the German version of smelling a woman's panties.

wtf

Did Roman Harper just do that superman-that-ho after he scored that touchdown?

Duh

Survey: Many believe N.O. worse off than it is

No shit. I've got people contemplating a visit, wondering if it's safe, if they will be walking through gutted houses, if there are "still" water lines along Bourbon Street. From the article:

Roughly one-fourth believed parts of New Orleans remain under water; one-third believed the tourist-oriented French Quarter was one of the hardest-hit areas when, in fact, the Quarter was largely unharmed. The floodwaters, too, are long gone.

"It's amazing," Sims said of those responses. "But it just goes to show how little people really know."

Why is that? Because the media sensationalized things and then didn't give the same attention to the recovery? Out of sight out of mind?

It's so frustrating sometimes. People think that I live in a third-world city still.

Not the first to say it, and I certainly won't be the last...

...but the quote of the day came early this morning during my ritual CNN watching while getting dressed.

"The earth has a fever. And the fever is rising."
-Al Gore, accepting his Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, Norway

Okay, I'm gonna say it now - this is what he actually meant to say:

The earth has a fever....and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!

Read the entire speech at The Huffington Post.

I've noticed a few blogs saying pretty much that same thing as me this morning. But can't find any fun YouTube plays on this clip from the speech yet. Perhaps I'll do a Part II of this post later on today with some fun YouTube links.

Is it really Monday tomorrow?

* Congratulations to the South Plaquemines Hurricanes for winning the 1A state title! ALTL, ALTR and ALTR's BFF (who also teaches at South Plaquemines) were all in attendance at the game yesterday. See also Ashley Morris.

* This weekend I stumbled upon the perfect gift for women of many different ages at the Garden District Book Shop (located at The Rink at Prytania & Washington). Looking for a girly little gift to give your BFF? Or maybe that dirty-old-woman secretary in your office? Meet "Porn for Women":



See a preview of what's inside here. Full of pictures of hot guys doing all kinds of domestic duties i.e. cleaning out the litter box, I immediately knew I needed to get it for one of the secretaries in my office. The title combined with the ridiculousness of the content - not to mention, the fact that I'm pretty sure I've seen all of the men on those pages down on St. Ann Street - it's an absurdly easy gift for any woman on your shopping list with a twisted sense of humor. Moreover, I really knew I was in love with the book when I found out that Feministing isn't such a big fan of it.

Metairie's Most Wanted

I always shrugged off suggestions from my few friends in Jefferson Parish that the parish just isn't as safe without Harry Lee. Until this week....

Earlier this week, I started to worry because I hadn't see my co-blogger ALTL in quite some time. On Wednesday night, I learned why she was MIA. After a long day at work, I settled down on my couch with a lovely South Beach dinner and turned on the tube. Immediately a local program called "Metairie's Most Wanted" came on, and the headline story is on - suddenly I see video footage of ALTL and another one of our friends drunkenly stumbling out of Lakeside Mall. Turns out the fools had too many fruity drinks after work at PF Chang's and went on a drunken spree through the mall only to be apprehended by the big bad mall security who forced them to take a cab home.

I immediately called up my co-blogger to see if she was alive or at least not in a Jefferson Parish jail somewhere. Much to my relief she answered.

"WTF? I just saw you on 'Metairie's Most Wanted'!"

Turns out, in an even more badass move than actually being forced to take a cab home by mall security, ALTL and friend had avoided having to refinance their lives in having to pay for a cross-parish cab ride by simply taking the cab to their office building (not too far from the mall), getting ALTL's car, and then driving back to the mall to get our friend's car.

"What a story!" I told her. "It's just so embarrassing for you to have to admit that you got loaded at PF Chang's."

Fortunately ALTL is back in Orleans Parish getting drunk at local, reasonably-priced bars and restaurants.

oh baby

This is my new celebrity crush:

I watched I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry the other night and he plays this crazy gay character. In Blades of Glory he plays a stalker. And Grandma's Boy, well...that DDR scene is pretty amazing. I wanna do it with Nick Swardson. He's so funny. Here is his myspace. I know, I'm a huge nerd. I just had to share.

Some random thoughts...

• The Times-Pic has picked up on the omg-Golden-Compass-is-anti-Christian bandwagon, citing the same e-mail I received about a month or so back. Why do Christians get so up in arms about this stuff? It's a work of fiction. Is it because it isn't the same BS the community wants you to be spoon fed? Sheesh, relax.
  
• Cuervo has done it again. They have now come out with Cuervo Reserva de al Familia. Plata. This has traditionally been a premium anejo. I guess this plata tequila is such a big deal because Cuervo actually makes it in Mexico instead of in Connecticut. I was drunk and really upset when I spied that bottle at the bar while enjoying my Milagro Silver.
  
• This Tonka truck commercial irritates me every time I see it. "Boys are built different." Little girls can't be interested in trucks? Or making messes? So annoying and sexist.
  
• I can't wait for this National Championship nonsense to be over. It's already out of hand and I want to bang my head against my computer monitor every time the talk gets going in my office.
  
• Not a lot of people are talking about it 'round here (except Adrastros, but Dickie Scruggs got busted last week for bribery. As someone once told me, some people have more nerve than sense. Check out the Insurance Coverage Law Blog for a play-by-play in what's going on with that.
  
• Politics With A Punch is Thursday night. The ALTR and I will be attending. Personally I'm hoping to jump Roop Raj after the show.
  
• Lastly, In Matte has joined our esteemed panel of bloggers. Look for her well versed and insightful blogs to appear soon!
  

i love this

That's the kind of man I will be with. Watch until the end.

Ummm....

I got some bridal shower invitation delivered to my house addressed toooooooo:

Veronica White

(I only know it's a bridal shower due to the strategic placing of the white envelope up to the sunlight streaming through the windows today). Did Veronica White used to live in my house? Does she live next door? I mean, my next door neighbor doesn't look like Whitney Houston, but anything is possible.

LOL moment of the morning

A few weeks ago, ALTR read this article about presidential daughter Jenna Bush in Texas Monthly. Last night while being lame, I made some updates on my NewsGator, including changing one of my "smart feeds" to automatically search for new items on Jenna Bush(those are the feeds that search all feeds for whatever item you want). I expected that random tidbits on the former wild twin (now described as "Girl Gone Mild" in the Texas Monthly article) might provide some interesting blog material in light of her engagement and upcoming wedding.

This morning I checked my feeds to look for news to tell you people about. However, much to the shock of ALTR's virgin Republican eyes, I was appalled to discover that the majority of the 17 news feeds for Jenna Bush were newly posted YouTube semi-porn items such as this.

So I think I'll change that smart feed to "Henry Hager", Jenna's fiance, as surely any article talking about their engagement should also mention his name. I'm sure ALTL is dying to know all the latest breaking details of Jenna's wedding as much as I am.

What ALTR is.....

...wanting.

...wearing.

...hating.

So I'm back again. And currently dieting, which means no going out tonight. That's why I'm being lame and posting at 1 am on a weekend evening. But at least I'm back.