"How to Lose A PILF Customer in 10 Days" by Wendy Yow Ellis

Prositute, Flynt keep the pressure on Vitter. [Times-Picayune]

Wendy Yow Ellis a/k/a "Leah" was hooking up with the hottest PILF there ever has been in the Pelican State until one day when she tried to take it to the next level, suggesting that maybe they take their relationship beyond the business and even divulged her real name! Like Wendy, many of us New Orleans women have been through similar situations - where we're just more interested than he is and we inevitably get attached. Then sometimes we might slip up and, well, tell him our real names - which, in a hooker's world, is WAY up there on the list of what NOT to do when dating someone. Fortunately for Vitter, he was able to peace out politely by simply by being shocked and horrified that the her real name was the same as that of his wife: Wendy. To Dave, that just wasn't cool.

Tuesday's press conference featured Larry Flynt and Wendy talking about their plans for letting the truth be told about Senator Vitter's extracurricular activities with Ellis, which lasted around of 5 months.

Also featured in the press conference were Larry Flynt's other plans to expose more of the seedy underside of Congress including plans to out "a closeted gay senator who he said consistently votes against gay rights."

[*AHEM* Lindsey Graham!]

But before you jump to conclusions about how Ellis is only going about these shenanigans for the $1 million Flynt offered earlier this year in a Washington Post ad looking for anyone willing to divulge illicit information about a government leader, not so fast! Ms. Ellis will not be receiving this award because Wendy wasn't the first to point out Vitter's indiscretions - she is simply doing what's right in telling America the truth about a senator most of the country hadn't heard of until the past few months. And it surely sucks a whole whole lot for one of ALTR's favorite PILFS.

Even though Wendy and Larry made alot of noise at the press conference, one thing rings loud and clear from the photos on NOLA.com: Larry Flynt and Wendy Yow Ellis are definitely doing the Schiavo:


And before you call me a huge asshole for creating the picture, please reference UrbanDictionary, which is always right about everything, to see that there are other assholes just like me out there.

Keep doing the Schiavo, Wendy, and the whole country will talk about your for no good reason at all.

Saints v. Colts, who?

Everyone is gearing up for the big game tonight. ALTL feels like a loner in her office building in her professional clothes while everyone else is rocking their Saints jerseys and other assorted black and gold. One associate proceeded to type the Who Dat cheer in an e-mail to me. All I can do until the work day is over is play Starship Saints.

In other news...

• Will Nagin run for governor? While we won't know until the end of the business day, atleast the mayor is "having great fun with this." What a tease, that Ray Ray. No one has seen his shiny head show up at the secretary of state's office yet, but there is still time. Speaking of, John Georges hasn't made his bid for the governor's throne official yet, either. Hmmm... [NOLA.com]
  
• While Senator Vitter has taken to rebuffing the comments that the calls for Senator Craig's resignation and not his own in a partisan double-standard, he has been featured in a DCC ad attacking the Republican Moral High Ground.
  
• More on the Larry Craig nonsense: Politico says Craig should not resign, but force the Senate to expel him. In the meantime, the American Land Rights Association has boycotted the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in their support for Craig.
  
• To top it all off, more young girls are killing themselves than ever before. [WWL]
  

gay gay gay

With all the gay tendencies being exhibited by the GOP lately what with the dirty online talk of Congressman Mark Foley and a male page, good ol' State Rep. Bob Allen offering to perform blow jobs in bathrooms, President of the Young Republicans Glenn Murphy, Jr. giving a hummer to a guy that was asleep, and of course the now infamous Senator Larry Craig.

Maybe the party should consider having the Republican National Convention or some leadership conference in New Orleans alongside Southern Decadence. That way no one can falsely accuse said party leaders of wrongful acts because, well, everyone is doing it. My first year I saw one dude tossing another's salad in the streets. If they want to stick with anonymity, then hell, wear some leather mask, as the leather daddies and their bitches are welcome.

Tucker Carlson and his other fag stomping buddies can work security at the strictly hetero bars. However, Michael Flory is not invited, to distance himself from the rampant gayness, he will again assault young girls, what with the long weekend and the incoming freshman girls having their first weekend in New Orleans sans parents. Special guest appearance by Senator David Vitter, who will lecture on diaper wearing, hookers, and how these are not gay. Maybe Senator Craig can be named some sort of Grand Marshall or VIP, after he resigns and/or comes out of the closet.

Your AM dailies

ALTR has a serious hangover from last night's Politics with a Punch where yours truly witnessed firsthand ALTL's feminist/anti-establishment-loving dilemma in forming an opinion on Canal Street Madam Jeanette Maier. The Head Pelican girls went to the show not really knowing what to expect, but were surprised to find out that the Madam was on the evening's panel.



Here are some AM dailies to keep you occupied while I get over my hangover:

* Paris Hilton’s lawyers save the heiress from having to shop for even more court-appropriate outfits. [EOnline]

* Texas executes its 400th. [WAFB] And apparently the EU thinks it can tell Texas what to do. [AfroSpear] As if Texas lawmakers really know what the EU is - "I thought Europe was a continent, not a country!"

* Exactly the kind of story those liberal NRA-haters don't want you to read about: 22 year-old woman kills intruder during a home invasion in Luling. [WGNO]

* When Congress goes back to school soon, the education debate will be heating up. An interesting tidbit with insight into ALTR's own fascination with education policy. Meanwhile thousands of New Orleans families will see their private school bills arrive in the mail soon.[Tallahassee Democrat]

* ALTR thinks ALTL will appreciate this Wonkette bit on a certain Craig's List want ad for oh-so-many ironic reasons. [Wonkette]

I'll post again after I finish my AM coffee and find out exactly what my crazy boss needs me to do today.

Maybe he was just painting her toe nails?

Over at The Hill, there is some mention of the "sins" committed by the DC Madam and company.

Randall Tobias, the deputy secretary of state in charge of foreign aid who resigned his post in April after being linked to Palfrey’s escort service, claimed he only received massages, not sex.

Poor, Tobias, he thought massages were pretty bad and proceeded to resign. Maybe Senator Vitter's serious sin is merely spending time with a pretty prostitute, perhaps brushing her hair or giving her a bath. That could be deemed a serious sin to some, not worth a Vitter resignation. In fact, those seem like more fatherly acts - Senator Vitter was merely caring for a lost girl who needed some guidance? Oh wait, a father figure does not ask to be clad in diapers.

I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as God has forgiven him.

h/t Wonkette

Imagine eavesdropping on that conversation...

While doing some YouTube surfing, I came across this gem of a video, clips of David Vitter speaches to the tune of and cut with Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?" It also included choice quotes and information.

Interestingly, one of banners declared:

Atleast five phone calls were made between the DC Madam and David Vitter during his time in Congress. Two of those calls were made during votes of the United States House of Representatives.

How does one do this? Sitting out on the floor, folks in the Gallery watching you. waiting to vote yay or nay, or having already voted and just waiting for some colleagues - just step out, punch in the numbers memorized by heart and greeting the person on the other line "Hey, it's Diaper Dave, what's the special tonight?" I mean, this guy would have been sweating and running up multiple calls had he been in the House during the marathon CAFTA vote.

My inner freak intrigued, I did a little further investigating to find out "DC Madam" Called Vitter During Votes. No, Vitty-cent as the local bloggers haved dubbed him, is not into the, ah, more public aspects of sex. But...

Telephone records released by Deborah Jeane Palfrey indicate she placed calls that were answered by Vitter's Washington phone on five occasions while Vitter was in the House, from 1999 through 2001. On four of those five days, the House was in session and Vitter participated in every roll call vote.

One day was particularly busy in the House, with Vitter's phone receiving Palfrey's call in the middle of the eighth recorded vote of the day, at 5:06 p.m., according to the records.

The records do not indicate whether Vitter himself took the calls or if another person, an answering machine or another answering device picked up the calls

He might answer. And apparently hookers aren't just dumb hos, but they have no concept of time. Does she honestly think his job as a member of the United States Congress ended at 5 PM?

Dejected, ALTL waits to hear something more exciting about Senator Vitter's alternate adventures with prostitutes.

ah, the joy of poking fun at politicians..

especially when prostitutes and diapers are involved...



hat tip People Get Ready

twinkies

Your Right Hand Thief brings to our attention the startling resemblence of the Wendy's in Senator Vitter's life. However, it was this comparison that has been constantly plaguing me...



However, I think CJ would be dying of laughter at the thought of her significant other in diapers for sexual gratification. And she would never be caught dead in such a god-awful dress.

Prostitution? That's illegal, right?

One thing noticibly absent from The Head Pelican is commentary on the Vitter scandal. We don't have any good excuses for this oversight, like that ALTR might have a VIP job in Vitter's constituent office, and therefore is not inclined to comment. No, I'm not that important. ALTL and ALTR simply are new to this blog thing - the Vitter scandal "broke" when ALTR was in the middle of a busy work week. Or a serious bender. But, whatever the reason, I promise to be more on top of my game.

Nevertheless, ALTR reserved the right to make random comments on the scandal, such as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's comments on the accusations shortly after they came out, stopping short of calling for an ethics investigation of the senator. According to this article on nola.com, Sen. Reid, a lawyer, needs a refresher course in what's illegal. Like prositution.

"There are a lot of accusations about...prostitutes in Louisiana. I don't know if that's breaking the law or not." - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.)

Maybe that's why we're having trouble getting money from the feds down here - they still think we condone prostitution.

Hooray freedom

hat tip At The Parade

even though we haven't touched the Vitter situation yet...

From YatPundit