Politicking on the rocks

It's 9:30 and we're going down. Slumped into the corner of the elevator, A Little to the Right eyes A Little to the Left and says "The communist takes the vodka and the republican takes the whiskey." An unexpected benefit of being some of the younger, more fun-loving attendees of a swank political function apparently means the candidate's staff and family give you the left over booze to take home with you. ALTL and ALTR have enough liquor to make their, respectively, Coke-and-whiskeys and Vodka-and-tonics for the rest of the week.

We could talk about booze all day, but let's talk about rocks. Damn. It was like the three-carat convention. Like, the kind that ALTR looks at on the Tiffany's website all day at work, drooling and imagining a younger member of the Bush family slipping one such ring on her finger at some romantic chapel in the Texas Hill Country. Our eyes were starting to burn there was so much bling in the room. What does it take? Insanity? Alcoholism? Lack of tact? These broads had it all. Yet, ALTR and ALTL have no rings. And no bling.

Then ALTR eyed a very young man sporting seersucker and sucking on a Bud Light like it was a nipple. "I like your tie" she says. "It's from Perlis" he responded, as his voice cracked in his attempt to woo her.

Whoever said Mrs. Robinson wasn't a Republican? Needless to say, ATLR woke up the next morning saying to the man in bed next to her "you had me at 'It's from Perlis.'"