you're not the boss of me...?

So I got this e-mail in my box this morning regarding my office's hurricane procedures:

Office Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings

As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the firm's guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:


Hurricane Category #1:
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.


Hurricane Category #2:
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.


Hurricane Category #3:
Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.


Hurricane Category #4:
More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.


Hurricane Category #5:
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.


Have A Nice Day!