Adventures in outlet shopping...

Recently ALTR, ALTL and co. ventured into the great state of Mississippi to treat ourselves to some outlet shopping. The highlight of the trip was the Polo store.

Now, this particular store wasn't for the claustrophobic at heart. Nor for those that hate lines. They had three people working the registers, each line about 6 people deep with an average check out time of approximately 11 minutes. This average is largely thrown off by the coon asses in front of line 1 (Initially I thought these customers were what ALTR refers to as my people - Mexicans. But as soon as they opened their mouths it was clear. I am also a coon ass.).

One lady gets in line. The other two are shopping. They continue to shop as the line moves at a snail's pace, loading Lady in Arms down with various over-priced clothing, even at an outlet store. Lady in Pink even tears the one sales associate on the floor away from her attempts at recovering the wrecked store to seek out a V-neck something or other in LSU purple because the crew neck just won't cut it. Lady in Fleece assists Lady in Pink, even encouraging her to go to the fitting room and try things on while she destroys the folded clothes looking for new things to give her to try on (seriously, there is not that big of a variety of products - it's all pretty basic). Lady in Arms continues to stand in line, as Lady in Pink and Lady in Fleece continue to run back and forth and pile more and more clothing upon her. If I didn't know better, I would have thought Lady in Arms was holding a baby and there were just piles of Polo clothing suffocating it. But no, it was all clothes.

Finally the Ladies get to the register and that's where the fun begins. The check out process was slow to begin with because the store was clearly understaffed to work this spend-$150-get-a-$25-gift-card promotion. But the Ladies...oh the Ladies. Not only were they here for the previously mentioned promotion, but they brought internet coupons! Throw about five items on the counter, play the oh-will-we-make-$150-no?-add-this-shirt-close?-ok-try-these-socks game until the reached $150. Then use the coupon, play the game again, get the gift card, end transaction. Repeat. Then the ladies are using their previously awarded gift cards on their next purchases. As well as the coupons.

Let's just say it got to the point where the customers in line behind the Ladies were openly talking about how inconsiderate this operation was to the 5+ people in line behind them. After Lady in Arms was finally free and Lady in Pink and Lady in Fleece were standing at the counter, she goes back on the floor and starts shopping some more! Seriously? Wow. The check out process took over a half hour. I thought for sure there was going to be a bitch throw down in the men's sweater section where everyone in line was confined. When the chick directly behind the Ladies said something to them the response was something to the tune of "Gurrrl, we just spent $700, so there." Way to go, you got $1400 worth of merchandise for $700 and in the meantime made enemies for life. Watch your back as you walk back to your vehicle, arms full of bags, because someone is going to deck you or follow you and key the fuck out of your car!" It was that bad.

It's one thing to have transactions like that when there is no else in line. It is one thing if you make one or two and then go to the back of the line so the 5+ people behind you can check out and not slit your throat. But it is something else altogether when you are so inconsiderate to your fellow humans that you are such an ignorant, raging asshole.

Can't say that I miss working in retail after that one. The best part of this adventure was that I wasn't purchasing anything.

LSU really has the best fans. They are exemplary folks like this. We tried to explain to ALTR this is why she should not sport LSU gear in public, but she wasn't hearing it.