Scruggs, like whoa

Dickie Scruggs is all over the place lately, as a confidential informant and working with whistle-blower, side-switchers from State Farm. But it's all for the greater good, right? I mean, he fought big tobacco!

I had no idea that he was Trent Lott's brother-in-law.

Rock on, Mississippi.

[h/t Iced Coffee and a Bagel]

gay gay gay

With all the gay tendencies being exhibited by the GOP lately what with the dirty online talk of Congressman Mark Foley and a male page, good ol' State Rep. Bob Allen offering to perform blow jobs in bathrooms, President of the Young Republicans Glenn Murphy, Jr. giving a hummer to a guy that was asleep, and of course the now infamous Senator Larry Craig.

Maybe the party should consider having the Republican National Convention or some leadership conference in New Orleans alongside Southern Decadence. That way no one can falsely accuse said party leaders of wrongful acts because, well, everyone is doing it. My first year I saw one dude tossing another's salad in the streets. If they want to stick with anonymity, then hell, wear some leather mask, as the leather daddies and their bitches are welcome.

Tucker Carlson and his other fag stomping buddies can work security at the strictly hetero bars. However, Michael Flory is not invited, to distance himself from the rampant gayness, he will again assault young girls, what with the long weekend and the incoming freshman girls having their first weekend in New Orleans sans parents. Special guest appearance by Senator David Vitter, who will lecture on diaper wearing, hookers, and how these are not gay. Maybe Senator Craig can be named some sort of Grand Marshall or VIP, after he resigns and/or comes out of the closet.

more Hurricane Katrina insurance matters...

5th Circuit rules for Nationwide in Katrina case. Take home message:

The company says its anti-concurrent causation provision works this way: If a policyholder has wind coverage and not flood insurance, then the company is not responsible for damage that comes from a combination of wind and water. A ruling that the clause is ambiguous could have been used against the company in lawsuits involving so-called "slab cases," in which a home was reduced to its foundation, Hartwig said.

As noted in a previous post, the federal court has also ruled that insurance companies are not liable for flood damage - the court did not distinguish between the flood as a result of the levees being overcome (water topping the levees) and the levees being breached (levees were broken and let water through). However, there is a pending case in the state court going to trial in September that may reverse the decision.

And although I am a bit belated in posting this, following the previous LA Citizens discussion, here is the link to their, uh, press release, if you will, confirming their extension of the prescription deadline to September 4 and the other details to go along with it.

Anyone who calls in sick to your office this AM has a Decadence hangover, there is no other explanation...

Since Southern Decadence will likely cause alot of "de-briefing" this weekend, here's a morning briefing:

● Where there's smoke, there's fire. At least this anti-HRC Republican hopes anyway. Some Asian-Americans are angry at the GOP for commenting on the fundraising Clinton scandal. [Politico]

● The NAACP challenges Secretary of State Jay Dardenne's voter purge. Only in Louisiana can dead people and Texans vote. That is, if the NAACP gets its way.[International Herald Tribune]

● It's Turd Blossom's last day in the White House. [WAFB]

● Oh, the irony. McCain qualifies for FEC welfare, interpreted by some as a desperate move. Ironically, this is of the same sort of election reform the senator pushed in the early years of the Bush administration. ALTR really hopes the man has some tricks up his sleeve...[Also from Politico]

● The Larry Craig interrogation tapes are ready for your consumption in a porno-frenzy we haven't seen since the Starr Report. Yes, you liberal sicko, I have a link for you: hear it at TSG. CNN played some of the tape's "greatest hits" over and over again this morning much to ALTR's chagrin during my morning primp session. Larry Craig might not be gay, but his boyfriend is. [MoJo]

Oh how many assless chaps will be seen...

The Head Pelican girls will both be in the Lone Star State this Labor Day weekend. Not that either of us (yes that's right, the Republican too) have anything against the thousands of Lonnies who will descend upon the Crescent City this weekend.

This is an event this hag is sad to miss, but family business calls back at the mothership for ALTR. The Head Pelican girls will be soaking up some sun on the famous Texas cancer beaches and shopping at the Galleria. Also perhaps trying a pub crawl in Houston - sadly ALTR has been to all of 3 bars in H-town since turning 21 not all that long ago. And 2 of them were gay bars. ALTR suspects the Houston gay bars will be all but empty this weekend. Happy Decadence!!

mmm, stuff

Infuriating! 'Cosmo' Wonders: Is it Rape If You Had Too Many Jaeger Shots To Remember It Anyway?

Interesting... Gonzales to be in N.O. Tuesday

Thoughts on New Orleans from: HRC, Edwards, Obama [via Dead Pelican]

Deadline to file suit tomorrow

Doug Sunseri of Nicaud, Sunseri & Fradella is currently on WWL giving free legal advice on how to file your Hurricane Katrina claim and the like.

More on the deadline later.

Before hitting the hay...

• August 26 was Women's Equality Day - 87 years ago women won the right to vote. How things have changed...and yet work remains. [HillaryClinton.com, NOW.org]
  
• Obama was preaching around town on Sunday [nola.com, CNN]
  
• mmmm...August... [Politico]
  
• Ted Nugent bashes HRC & Obama, makes bid for Michigan governor. [Politico - The Crypt]
  
• Corruption and competition will not tear us apart. [nola.com]
  
• Someone on the Hill doesn't like the shit-talking taking place on Wikipedia about Bobby Jindal. [Daily Kingfish]
  

next to the chopping block...

From American Zombie:

Word has it that LA. Senator Derrick Shepard is the next to be summoned to the gallows....execution date is set for Monday.

Uh oh...

Hopeful Green Wave football fans...

Toledo takes Tulane in a new direction

Since it was announced in December of '06 that Bob Toledo would be taking over the Tulane football program, eager and anxious Tulane football fans (yes, some do exist) have been abuzz about the prospects of the next season. Interest seems to have grown, as ticket sales have been seeing numbers they haven't in quite some time. The Toledo name itself has allegedly brought back 20 - 25% of previous season ticket holders.

I'm a skeptic. Tulane football has always been a running joke, this coming from a former student. You only went to the games to tailgate, and if you were lucky you went in at half time. Toledo is trying to appear to a younger demographic, I'm assuming the students. The only way he's gonna get them in the stands is by producing a team that wins. Let's hope he can live up to that, everyone is expecting him to.

Kick off has also been moved from 1 PM to 6 PM because

"People in New Orleans like to come out in the evening. They realized the need to start a little bit later because people get started here a little bit later," said Parenti, who previously worked for the Hornets and is in her first year at Tulane.

Well, we see how well the job with the Hornets worked out for her. Is the 6 PM start time really to appeal to the younger demographic they are trying to hook, or the older folks of New Orleans that are rekindling their interest? When ALTL attended Tulane, there wasn't a chance in hell she'd skip her pre-debaucherous Saturday evening activities to travel out to the Superdome. Hell, Tulane can't even get students to fill the stands at Fogelman by throwing free food at them. Maybe it will be Toledo's rendition of the fireside chat - a weekly radio show beginning Sept. 5 at 7 PM over at Bruno's that will reel them in.

I'm not going to pretend to know much about the Tulane football program. I was all for eliminating it after the storm, as it always seemed like such a waste of time, energy, and money. And I don't want to encourage the apathetic nature of the Tulane student body. We know they can rally around a team, as seen by the overwhelming support for the 2005 Green Wave baseball team as they headed to Omaha for the World Series. BUT...I'm a skeptic. Good luck, Toledo.

hmm...

I think I may have found my next ex-husband - old man needs some lovin.

Now, I'm not too familiar with the area nursing homes, which homes do the loaded old folks live in?!

And here's some great advice for some women of New Orleans - Get out while you can

top o' the mornin'

Since everyone else is at the Rising Tide 2 event...

• OMG, Bush is coming again! He might as well just fly over to "examine recovery efforts." I'm not cynical. [WWL]
  
• No, really, he's dead. The Queen of Media stands by his story. Castro is donezo. [PerezHilton]
  
• The Hornets, after returning to New Orleans, are having a hard time filling seats. I like basketball, I really do, but Hornets games are so lame. The atmosphere sucks. [WWL]
  
• Carnaval Latino is this weekend. But how are they ever going to share their culture if they charge an entrance fee?
  
• Not going to any of the above? Try a Naked Party at the Lush Store on Decatur. Festivities kick off at 1 PM, no RSVP required. [Lush USA]
  
• HRC speaks the truth about Republicans, people hate her more. [YahooNews, CNN]
  
• Divers find a lost world off the coast of Japan. [CNN]
  

RE: Castro might be dead....maybe?

Please click over to Wonkette's hilarious commentary on the possible death of Castro. Forced to deal having to read about potentially huge political breaking news as opposed to the usual Paris-Nicole fluff they usually read, their comments are rather amusing. Some of my favorites:

* I fucking hate Cubans. A fucking cuban molested me when I was 12. Everyone in Cuba should be shot dead. Thanks to them, I am scared to go out now. Fucking bastards.
* IS IT TRUE PEREZ THAT THE “REAL” FIDEL CASTRO DIED IN 1981 AND THEN HE HAS A CIA PLANT LOOK-ALIKE TO IMPERSONATE HIM AND STUFF? THE NAME OF THE CIA PLANT WAS ALEXIS PAPAGOS? ARE THIS TRUE OR WHAT
* May he burn in hellk for all etternity! This has made my Fiday! Godbless the Cuban citizens. I hope rise up and embrace Capitalism, and freedom, and start to rebuild their beautiful island! I love Cubans!

RUMOR

Hot news on the blogs - Is Castro dead?

UPDATE: Perez Hilton (yeah, I know) reports that a press conference with the announcement will take place at 4 PM. I would assume that's eastern time.

UPDATE #2 (via Drudge): Cuba Foreign Minister says Castro Health Rumors Untrue from 8:37 AM this morning.

One a more serious note...

* The City Council has approved the use of $1 million of city money to go towards a memorial honoring the unclaimed victims of Hurricane Katrina. [WAFB] At least they're doing something useful.

* In one of the most disgusting sentences I've heard come out of New Orleans in a long time, a judge has sentenced Jarvis Turner, a 27 year-old accused of robbing $75 from a cab-driver at gun point 3 years ago, to a year in jail for every dollar he stole. That's 75 years. Our most high-profile white collar criminals like Glenn Haydel and Stan Barre can serve little to no time for stealing millions of OUR money, and this guy gets 75 years. I am most definitely not saying what he did was condonable - but this is certainly not an eye-for-an-eye sentence, and I think our court systems money and time would be better spent on addressing our real, more pressing problems. [WDSU]

Burger birthday, lotteries, and the rich keep on getting richer...

* Happy Birthday to the Big Mac! McDonald's signature burger has been making Americans overweight for 40 years now. The Birthday Boy weighs nearly 1/2 a pound and contains around 540 calories. But that won't stop ALTR from enjoying one at the McDonald's at Louisiana & St. Charles before goign out to the Friday night circuit. Or maybe I'll get one at 3 am, when the restaurant is still open for those who dare to wait in the long late-night lines - is it on the late-night menu? Among the celebratory festivities honoring the triple-decker's 40th, a Big Mac Museum opened this week in North Huntingdon, PA which honors the mega-sandwich's history.[ABCNews]



* Wonder why there's a line outside your neighborhood convenience store? Powerball is at a whopping $300 million. The drawing will be held on Saturday. Your chances of winning are 1 in 146 million according to one article, but go ahead and take your chances. And if you opt out, at least keep your fingers crossed for ALTR's office pool to win. If I win, I can blog all day long - that is, if I have internet access on my private island. [CoxNews] [WDSU]

* In other lottery news, a source close to local jewelry designer Mignon Faget's inner circle tells ALTR that Faget's office's pool won a small amount of a recent lottery drawing, of course to be split by all those who bought in. One has to wonder if Madame Faget participated in this as well, as if she really needs any more money. But one really can't really blame the woman if she wants to partake in her office's lottery pools - I'm sure she doesn't want to be the only one working after her staff wins the lottery.

A hot mess of a Friday

Here's what's up this morning:

* Bribery charge in connection with Corps of Engineers levee rebuilding project. Why'd it have to be a Houstonian? As the bumper stickers say, "Thanks Houston" [PRNewswire]

* Dan Frazier has done an excellent job hammering out some of our questions and concerns regarding the new flood maps. [MetroBlogging New Orleans]



* A witty panelist at Politics with a Punch on Wednesday night described New Orleans as being like the "Lindsey Lohan" of cities. One drunk big hot mess. Here's a good bit on Lohan's legal drama. [EOnline]



* I hate to tap Hollywood twice for your AM briefing, but this is all I've got so far. The Smoking Gun reports that Nicole Richie spent 82 minutes in jail yesterday and all she got was this lousy mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]

Psst

Before heading out to Tips tonight...

• Go vote for the New Orleans Musicians Relief Fund for a MySpace Impact Award in community building
  
• Want to be a sugar mama? Check out this guy. Legal fees my ass, he's just lazy!
  
• Russian woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis - how an earth did it just ignite like that, was he soaking it in the vodka he was drinking?!
  
• Check out the first episode of K-Ville at nola.com. ALTL refuses to download Windows Media Player.
  
• A NO CityBusiness bloggeer asks: What if Thomas hadn't been busted?
  

Single = problem?

What is with these damn signs along St. Charles asking

Single?
www.neworleansdating.org

Is this like Problem? -- www.solution.com?

Why is being single a problem? Why does society seem to think that everyone should be in a relationship (preferably of the heterosexual variety)? I like being single and promiscuous, thankyouverymuch.

I went to check out this website. Some observations:

• NOT gay friendly - you're either "man seeking woman" or "woman seeking man." Also painfully obvious based upon the graphics.
  
• No gold digging whores into the 71+ variety - not that those guys know how to use the internet anyway.
  
• No room for booty calls or casual dating here - they expect you to be looking to "date more successfully", "have a steady relationship" or be searching for marriage.
  
• NOT local, wtf. Or just REALLY bad at appealing to the local vibe.
  

Bottom line: Stick to Craigslist and sugardaddie.com. And screw you for wasting my time because I am a curious individual and read those damn signs stuck in the neutral ground. Atleast have a more appealing web design, sheesh.

Katrina deadline looms...

If you don't already know, the deadline for filing suit against your insurance company for damage caused by Hurricane Katrina is August 28, although it appears that there is some discrepancy and suit may be filed as late as August 30.

However, if you are insured by Louisiana Citizens you can take another route. They have extended their deadline for prescription until September 4. Here is how it works: You have until that date to set up a mediation in order to settle your claim. Your mediation does not have to be scheduled before the September 4 date. You have until September 4 to notify Citizens that you have scheduled a mediation in your case. Don't fret, though, if you do not settle your claim at the time of mediation you have 30 DAYS to get a lawyer and continue on the tired and true road to trial. If you go past that time, then you're SOL.

Likewise, State Farm will attempt to settle any Hurricane Katrina claims scheduled to be mediated after the deadline as long as they are calendared prior to August 28.

Mediation? Wtf? Basically, you can go to a couple of places around town (AAA, MAPS, ADR, etc) and they'll get you and the insurance adjuster in a room and try to settle the case by talking numbers, contents list, wind v. flood, etc. If you settle, sign a paper, you get x amount of days to back out, and the insurance company cuts you a check.

Not impressed? File suit. Not sure what to do? Call the Louisiana State Bar for some free legal advice at 1-800-310-7029. If they can't help you, they can atleast point you in the right direction.

See also: Lawyers rush to beat Katrina lawsuit deadline [CityBusiness]

"Dem geaux cups has gots to geaux" & other reasons I love the Pelican State this AM...

* The Dead Pelican directs us to the war on solo cups in Cajun country. [KATC]

* C. Ray still swears he wants to be governor, and doesn't want to be a congressman. Democratic friends, be warned - ALTR suspects that America's most famous mayor will publicly state that he's thinking about the governor's race, then change his mind and use your money to run for Congress.



* The reason it took ALTR over an hour to get from her Warehouse District office to her house Uptown last night on NOLA.com.

I know you're probably tired of these baggy pants posts...

...but I feel it my duty to inform our readers that Alexandria is the latest Louisiana town to jump on the anti-baggy pants bandwagon. [KSLA]

I can't get over this amusing trend in Louisiana politics, especially because it's always the cheesiest and oldest city council members introducing these wars on droopy drawers. This particular gem is being advocated by Alexandria Councilman Charles F. Smith, Jr.

Michael Vick jury selection is completed...

Doesn't look too good for the defense



I know that's cheesy, but it was just too cute not to share.

Your AM dailies

ALTR has a serious hangover from last night's Politics with a Punch where yours truly witnessed firsthand ALTL's feminist/anti-establishment-loving dilemma in forming an opinion on Canal Street Madam Jeanette Maier. The Head Pelican girls went to the show not really knowing what to expect, but were surprised to find out that the Madam was on the evening's panel.



Here are some AM dailies to keep you occupied while I get over my hangover:

* Paris Hilton’s lawyers save the heiress from having to shop for even more court-appropriate outfits. [EOnline]

* Texas executes its 400th. [WAFB] And apparently the EU thinks it can tell Texas what to do. [AfroSpear] As if Texas lawmakers really know what the EU is - "I thought Europe was a continent, not a country!"

* Exactly the kind of story those liberal NRA-haters don't want you to read about: 22 year-old woman kills intruder during a home invasion in Luling. [WGNO]

* When Congress goes back to school soon, the education debate will be heating up. An interesting tidbit with insight into ALTR's own fascination with education policy. Meanwhile thousands of New Orleans families will see their private school bills arrive in the mail soon.[Tallahassee Democrat]

* ALTR thinks ALTL will appreciate this Wonkette bit on a certain Craig's List want ad for oh-so-many ironic reasons. [Wonkette]

I'll post again after I finish my AM coffee and find out exactly what my crazy boss needs me to do today.

Out with Jefferson and in with...Nagin?

The buzz is growing louder about the possibility of Ray Ray running for Congressman Jefferson's seat if/when WJJ gets the boot or is forced to step down. But where is the media on this? I tried to dig around a little bit, and came up with a blurb from the June 6 City Business, which is largely on the Mayor's potential run for governor. Then of course, there are those who said Nagin could run for Congress as a fallback if he lost the mayoral election.

I don't know who a good replacement for WJJ would be, I never really liked any of his opposition last go round. I can't imagine anyone taking Nagin seriously in Congress with the reputation he has. Chocolate City is still laughable. Of course, Jefferson was reelected even after the frozen money incident, but, in ALTL's opinion, he was more useful in DC than any of the other candidates could have been. Nagin? No way.

K-Ville

The Times-Pic discusses some buzz about K-Ville but quiet honestly I have not heard any positive discussion on the upcoming TV series unless it's referring to revenue brought into the city. Of course we'll be glued to the TV come Sept. 17 just to see how we're portrayed, but...not totally optimistic. I guess we shall see...

Keg stands with Stacy Head

ALTR can be found at Bridge Lounge after work, celebrating frat-style with Councilwoman Stacy Head [NOLA.com]

fluff!

As if I weren't busy enough, I think I found a part time job on craigslist - Female Fluffer needed for New Orleans Video Set.

New Super clean (fantastically so) adult video set requires a part-time fluffer to take care of our male adult models - you must be female, relaxed, friendly and talkative - must be punctual and reliable and be able to make them ready to perform. There will be no front of camera work, this is strictly behind the scenes.
Thanks.

a) what's wrong with dudes? and b) what does a gig like that pay?

If all else fails, there is the Phone Actress gig. Would you call if I left my number?

Speaking of useless laws...

In keeping with my earlier post on baggy pants laws, I find it my duty to inform all of our readers that it's now illegal to wear saggy pants in Mansfield, LA per a city ordinance that just passed. Pull those droopy drawers up to waist level when passing through the booming metropolis of Mansfield or you could face a penalty of $150 plus court costs or up to 15 days behind bars.

Mid-afternoon briefing

The heat really wears me out. I guess it wears out our elected officials and newsmakers too - not too much craziness to report today. Here's what I've noticed is going on today:

• Katrina nursing home trial to start today in St. Francisville. [SunTimes]

• Even though ALTL and ALTR have already graduated, Tulane is still hot. Roll Wave! [Newsweek]

• Louisiana Secretary of State Jay Dardenne still swears he wasn't on his BlackBerry as he goes into surgery. [KTBS]

• Karl Rove will be peacing out soon. [CNN] John Cornyn must be crying. [WAFB]

• Some new laws are going into affect today. Like most laws in this state, no one will pay much notice to these either. [WAFB]

Coming attractions

The Oliver Thomas genie has emerged from the plea bargain bottle.

This isn't necessarily news to people following this string of scandals, from Glenn Haydel to Kerry DeCay to Pampy Barre. One only has to wonder how long it will be until we see an indictment of some sort against Marc Morial himself.

I'm not about airing my dirty laundry, but....

...ALTR and ALTL had a bipartisan blast at this year's Dirty Linen Night in the French Quarter. Although I was an art history major, I must admit that my favorite stops weren't even the art stores. Among my faves for the evening were a costume jewelry store called Rumors where ALTR purchased a bangin' silver necklace. And also, Fleur de Paris - who's up for a Derby party next year?

I think Rumors had the best drinks for the evening - a "peartini" - a delicious concoction of Absolut Pear (who knew it could be good!) with sweet & sour and Crystal Light. An at-home version will be attempted sometime soon for pool-side uses.

I'm baaaack!

ALTR doesn't like Rudy Giuliani - but might be slightly obsessed with this facebook scandal involving Caroline G. Poor girl, people at Wonkette are dogging her for being a hag. That, along with the underage drinking, is one thing this long-time hag can certainly apppreciate.

Rumor

For those waiting in line to meet with Nancy Marshall, it sounds like she's making more adjustments today than yesterday. Atleast people are leaving happier today than those yesterday.

Visitors, visitors

According to WWL, a delegation of 15 House members, led by Nancy Pelosi, will be making trek down to good ol' New Orleans and the Gulf Coast beginning on Sunday. The list of those visiting has not been released yet, but I have to wonder if there will be any newcomers since there are many Congressmen and women who have yet to visit the area.

Another one to make us proud

What is with the whack jobs from Louisiana? Looks like some guy threatened to kill the Finance Minister of Canada because of some new tax laws. Because Lloyd Dewitt Tiller, Jr. lost some clients. And allegedly $6 million. But seriously, sending threatening e-mails to a public official in this day and age? Pull your head out of your ass, buddy.

In the first e-mail, sent on Nov. 13, he threatened to hurt Mr. Flaherty.

In the second, sent Jan. 18, he “threatened to injure both Mr. Flaherty and members of his family,” the U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana, Donald Washington, wrote in a statement.

Tiller was indicted on August 2 and faces arraignment on August 29.

[h/t Wonkette]

HRC Watch

This morning's USA Today - Poll: Dems favor Clinton over Obama

I never would have believed it, but it appears that HRC is widening her lead over Obama since the last USAToday/Gallup poll on July 12-15.

The 22-point gap between the two leaders is nearly double the margin found in the July 12-15 poll.

"People are seeing her as the one ready to be president," says Mark Penn, Clinton's chief strategist, a perception he says was "accelerated" by the recent debate.

You can really make numbers say anything and a variety of things can happen before the nomination, but things look really good for HRC. This is really exciting.

Art Deco phallus

For those out there who chuckle at the extension of Huey Long's manhood when driving through Baton Rouge, here's an interesting bit ALTR found about our capitol building.

A little Deja vu?

Twin span support system at the Dead Pelican

another Jefferson victory?

Court rules FBI violated Constituion in Jefferson raid

The much-anticipated 3-0 ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia said that Jefferson is entitled to the return of all "privileged legislative materials" seized in the May 2006 raid.

The court added, however, that Jefferson is not entitled to get back all of what the FBI seized. Its 37-page ruling said that searches of the congressman's computer for non-legislative records were OK as were materials Jefferson willingly handed over to the government.

No money for flooding

Holy shit - Court rules against homeowners in flood insurance case

But the appeals panel concluded that "even if the plaintiffs can prove that the levees were negligently designed, constructed, or maintained and that the breaches were due to this negligence, the flood exclusions in the plaintiffs' policies unambiguously preclude their recovery."

"Regardless of what caused the failure of the flood-control structures that were put in place to prevent such a catastrophe, their failure resulted in a widespread flood that damaged the plaintiffs' property," and policies clearly excluded water damage caused by floods, King wrote.

we be boozin'

Americans Prefer Beer Over Wine

Surprise! Only 64% of Americans drink!

I wonder how the stats would be different if the 1000 people polled were New Orleans residents...

Maybe he was just painting her toe nails?

Over at The Hill, there is some mention of the "sins" committed by the DC Madam and company.

Randall Tobias, the deputy secretary of state in charge of foreign aid who resigned his post in April after being linked to Palfrey’s escort service, claimed he only received massages, not sex.

Poor, Tobias, he thought massages were pretty bad and proceeded to resign. Maybe Senator Vitter's serious sin is merely spending time with a pretty prostitute, perhaps brushing her hair or giving her a bath. That could be deemed a serious sin to some, not worth a Vitter resignation. In fact, those seem like more fatherly acts - Senator Vitter was merely caring for a lost girl who needed some guidance? Oh wait, a father figure does not ask to be clad in diapers.

I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as God has forgiven him.

h/t Wonkette

They may have been bankrupt, but they're ahead of the legislative curve.

ALTR notices her Entergy bill will be going up; at the same time, MoJo suggests that the tree huggers might have a victory soon. Coincidence?

This gives a whole new meaning to the term "cracking down"

If you own a clothing store in Lake Charles, consider stocking up on belts.

Lake Charles City Councilman A.B. Franklin wants to make it illegal for people to wear baggy pants which reveal "underwear or skin."

One has to wonder - does this new ordinance apply also to the Lakes Charles ladies who like to show off their tramp stamps?

And because I know you were wondering, this is the man that you can thank for no longer having to look at the crack of that person sitting at the video poker machine at your favorite Lake Charles truck stop:


Councilman A.B.Franklin

Thanks to our semi-namesake the Dead Pelican for directing ALTR to this gem.

Why We Bone (long)

I don't know what I would do without Jezebel today. Yesterday they drew attention to the 237 Reasons To Have Sex. But it was more than that, users commented to add their own reasons, including this gem, which many of us could sympathize with:

Because when the power is off after a hurricane there is nothing else to do but drink all the beer in the fridge before it gets hot and fuck. It really is the perfect setting; windows boarded up, generators to drown out the noise, and eating hotdogs from the Red Cross van in your unrecognizable, debris riddled lawn can really be a turn on

Discussing the original blog entry with a friend on the better-than-AIM-way-to-chat-at-work Google talk, she directed me towards the NY Times piece, in which John Tierney actually discusses the original study with the psychologists.

As Tierney's article points out, the idea that women sleep their way to the top is a bit of a misconception:

The results contradicted another stereotype about women: their supposed tendency to use sex to gain status or resources.

“Our findings suggest that men do these things more than women,” Dr. Buss said, alluding to the respondents who said they’d had sex to get things, like a promotion, a raise or a favor.

Men are more likely to fuck for a raise or promotion (no pun intended), but women are just as likely to do it for a job (when you compare the lists side by side). I knew a guy who boned a chick once during an interview. She didn't get the job. Maybe it just doesn't pay off for us.

In discussing their results, Buss and Meston write:

Another cluster of gender differences not specifically predicted involved enhancement of social status–boosting reputation, establishing bragging rights, and desiring to tell friends that they had sex with someone famous. Nonetheless, these findings were consistent with the empirical data that suggest that men who are actually or effectively polygynous are granted higher social status.

So basically, it's not a myth that manwhores are more popular. The more poon you get, the higher your social status.

Of interest:

The finding that men endorsed most of the reasons for having sex with a substantially higher frequency than did women can be considered within the context of socially inculcated gender roles as well as the theory of parental investment and sexual selection. Although the traditional roles of men as initiators of sexual interactions and women as ‘‘gate keepers’’ may be less a factor today then it was several decades ago prior to the influences of feminism and oral contraceptives, research on college populations suggests these patterns still exist. In a study of sexual attitudes among 702 undergraduate students, females were significantly more likely than males to endorse the item ‘‘It is unnatural for the female to be the initiator in sexual relations’’ (Meston, Trapnell, & Gorzalka, 1998).

Please tell me that things have significantly changed from 1998 to 2007. That or I'm just a huge "unnatural" slut. Why do women still think that's not okay for them to want or initiate sex?

Further interest:

the low social desirability of some reasons (e.g., to punish a partner; to make money; to give someone a sexually transmitted disease) may have lowered response rates to these reasons, while the high social desirability of other reasons (e.g., to express love; to show affection) may have raised response rates to these reasons. Social desirability effects may have also played a role by exaggerating the tendency for men to report significantly more reasons for having sex than women (or conversely, for women to under-report reasons for having sex).

Initially this bugs me, but then I think...this will forever be a limitation under any psychological study that asks personal questions. How can we ever trust that people will answer questions with complete truth? It seems to be human nature not only to distrust, but to lie as well.

Not mentioned at all is the sample's religiosity. What religions were represented? How religious did the participants believe themselves to be? And how did they play into their reasons to have sex? I know it's probably a whole 'nother can of worms, but it could play a major role. Of course, all those University of Texas students are hippies anyway, so maybe not.

need some money?

total WTF moment

I don't usually watch the videos on CNN for whatever reason. But today, my hand is clamped over my mouth trying to stifle some outrageous laughter -- Convicts Boogie to 'Thriller'

Not only Thriller, but a couple of other songs, too. I just want to know one, thing, though - the guys in the nun outfits, are they now hands off or are they even bigger bitches than they were before?

HRC Watch

I'm not gonna lie. I've been skeptical of the top Democrat contenders for the presidential nomination. Obviously, Clinton is a woman, Obama is not white, and well Edwards...he's sort of boring. Would American really vote for a female president or someone of a non-Caucasian appearance? It was always flash backs to the 2003 gubernatorial race between Jindal and Blanco - "Well, I'd vote for a woman over an Indian." Is that what it would come down to? Of course the Republicans don't even seem to have their stuff together, so this could really be anybody's ball game. Right?

The more I observe, the hotter HRC gets and despite the charisma he is so gallantly praised for, Senator Obama is getting out played. Today's Wallstreet Journal boasts "Clinton Widens Poll Lead By Using Experience Card", citing polls in which HRC's lead continues to increase. I know I'm not alone in my fears, but when you read it in a publication it makes you feel a little better:

Despite doubts even among Sens. Clinton's and Obama's supporters about whether Americans would elect a female or black candidate as president, the poll shows that either Democrat would defeat the Republican front-runner, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, if the election were held today.

Mrs. Clinton would beat Mr. Giuliani by six points, 47% to 41%; Mr. Obama would win by five, 45% to 40%. The results are nearly identical to those in the June poll. The latest poll, of 1,005 adults Friday to Monday, has a margin of error of 3.1 percentage points.

In a three-way contest among Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Giuliani and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg running as an independent, the poll shows Mrs. Clinton winning with 42% of the vote to Mr. Giuliani's 34% and Mr. Bloomberg's 11%. That suggests Mr. Bloomberg -- who hasn't declared his candidacy -- would steal more support from the Republican than from the Democrat.

[h/t Jezebel]

If Walter Boasso was a blonde...

I received this joke from my wacky aunt last night and couldn't help but think immediately of Walter Boasso's fetish for cardboard cutouts.

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, 'What is going on here?'

'My car broke down, Officer' says the woman, calmly.

'Well, what are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the
road?!' asks the Officer...

'Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!', she replies.

There is punishment other than God's?

Today Wonkette brings to us via Jezebel the fascinating How Much Time Should Women Spend In Prison for Having Abortion? It seems that a film maker approached a group of abortion protestors in Libertyville and asked them that question.

Being a heavy pro-choicer myself, seeing these protestors clam up at a simple question made me giggle with glee. How silly the woman looks saying that having an illegal abortion has enough punishment from God. But, really, demanding that something be made illegal, you should really have an appropriate consequence for breaking the law in mind.

I wonder what it would be like to ask the abortion protestors on St. Charles in front of the unmarked building near Louisiana that very same question? Would their responses be similar? Would they have law-breakers executed? I guess it all depends on the background in which you're coming from and why you've formed such an opinion.

The original source of this discussion stems from Anne Quindlen's article in Newsweek with the same title. Many quotables within the article, but the ending sticks out:

Nearly 20 years ago, in a presidential debate, George Bush the elder was asked this very question, whether in making abortion illegal he would punish the woman who had one. "I haven't sorted out the penalties," he said lamely. Neither, it turns out, has anyone else. But there are only two logical choices: hold women accountable for a criminal act by sending them to prison, or refuse to criminalize the act in the first place. If you can't countenance the first, you have to accept the second. You can't have it both ways.

Don't victimize women.

View a shortened version at Jezebel, or the entire footage on YouTube.